Who did Dong Qing hurt?

With the launch of \”The Reader\”, Dong Qing\’s gentle and intellectual image has become deeply rooted in people\’s hearts. Recently, she talked about her views on stay-at-home mothers in an interview. Like a depth bomb, she inadvertently stirred up people all over the world. Plant mother. She talked about her life after having a child: \”Suddenly all the time was taken up by him, and then it became very trivial and mediocre. You have to find a balance in many places. Unless you have thought about it, you have to be a full-time mother. . I think none of us have such a choice. So you must find a balance in each other\’s world.\” Like many stay-at-home mothers, I was initially stung by the word \”mediocre.\” But when I thought about that passage calmly, I realized that what Dong Qing actually talked about was ‘choice’. For Dong Qing, a woman who is accustomed to seeking a sense of achievement in front of the screen and in her career, being a stay-at-home mother is a choice that will make her life tend to be mediocre, so it is understandable for her to reject this kind of life. What she emphasizes is that unless \’you\’ have thought about it well and \’you\’ can balance it, it is \’you\’ choice to be a full-time mother or a working mother. In this diversified society, I especially recognize what Dong Qing said about ‘choice’. So when many people ask me about my views on the role of a stay-at-home mother, I would like to share a passage from Bonnie Bonnie: \”If someone kidnaps you with family, sacrifice, dedication, and dedication, they say you must be a full-time mother.\” A full-time wife, don’t be fooled, he is farting. Similarly, if someone tells you that you need to achieve self-realization, independence and freedom, and uses this value to kidnap you so that you cannot be a full-time wife, he is also farting, don’t be fooled. . Because no ism is bigger than your life, and no value can kidnap your freedom.\” Many feminists argue that it is a regression of women\’s self-awareness for women to return to the family and take care of their children full-time. But shouldn’t the true self-awakening of female consciousness mean that women can freely choose the lifestyle they want without fear or worry? Stay-at-home mothers and working mothers are not opposites, and there is no distinction between good and bad. During this period, the most critical question is, are you forced to choose this kind of life or do you choose it actively? As far as I am concerned, from the moment I was pregnant with Tinker Bell, I wanted to take good care of and accompany the growth of this little life, so I chose the path of a full-time mother. I initially chose to be a full-time mother, and later in the process of raising children and sharing, I accidentally became a freelancer and became a semi-full-time mother. It was a step-by-step journey. Therefore, I can not only appreciate the hard work and achievements of working mothers, but also experience the trivialities and happiness of stay-at-home mothers. As a stay-at-home mom, I have more free time to spend with this little guy growing up. Watching him experience every \”first time\” in his life, talking to him a lot, holding him while reading, taking him to many places… His arrival completes my life experience, because of him I experience it Towards all the emotions of motherhood, as well as having a richer soul and self. To be honest, I like and enjoy the new life that comes with being a mother. But I have to admit that this road is also difficult.pungent. Because in addition to the small happiness and touch of raising children, laundry, cooking, firewood, rice, oil and salt, excrement, peeing and crying are also family dramas that are performed 24 hours a day. I can’t lie to myself. In the life of a stay-at-home mother, I am often frustrated and feel trivial. I even admit that sometimes I feel that it is the so-called ‘mediocre’. But I know that the \’mediocrity\’ at this moment will eventually become a \’precious\’ memory in a long life, and this short-term \’mediocrity\’ is just a phased identity need, not the main theme of life. Fortunately, the joy brought by this life prompted me to pick up what I love, write and work hard, share parenting articles on this official account, and accompany more mothers to grow and progress together. These have even given me a better life than giving birth to children. Stronger value expression before. There are many people around me who live a quiet full-time life. There are mothers who gradually started to do shopping for their children and then opened their own studios. There are also mothers who like to take pictures of babies and then study photography and then start a business. The mother who has entered the studio, and the mother who has grown from a housework illiteracy to a super mother who can do all three things because of her children… But! I\’m not emphasizing that every mother should learn all kinds of tricks and make as much money as possible besides raising children… It seems that only this kind of full-time life is worthy of praise? This is originally a false proposition and poisonous chicken soup. Everyone has their own limitations and choices. Being a stay-at-home mother is a kind of family resource and contribution. It is not easy to take care of the baby and the backyard. We have to make proper arrangements for the children\’s food, drink, and toilet, sort out the interpersonal relationships between the two families, and take care of the husband\’s food, clothing, and daily life… Isn\’t this what it means? We can aspire to the inspirational story of Super Mother, but that is not the only existence of truth. Everyone has their own theoretical system. A thousand full-time mothers will have a thousand full-time lives, and no life is really easy. Just like some working mothers who have to give up the company of their children in order to make a living, can everyone understand the helplessness and sadness behind it? No matter what kind of life you choose, losing and gaining will always go hand in hand. I have always felt that whether you are working full-time or working, what you fear most is worrying about gains and losses. Mothers are always in a dilemma between choosing a full-time job but feeling that life is mediocre and trivial, choosing a career but feeling ashamed of their children. And even if the mother has sorted out the primary and secondary relationships, society has too high requirements for the mother\’s role: returning to the family, caring for her husband and raising children are considered to be unindependent, unmotivated, and out of touch with society; going to work to make money to support the family, some experts jumped out and said Companionship in the mother-infant relationship is a lifelong gift to the child. Moral kidnapping is easy, but empathy and understanding are rare. If the entire society can respect and understand every mother\’s choices after weighing life, then maybe every mother can be treated with gentleness mentally. Dong Qing, who pursues the embodiment of self-worth, is beautiful, and Hu Ke, who is immersed in family life, is also beautiful, because they are loyal to the life they choose and work hard for it. In life, no matter what role you are in, the most important thing is whether you are satisfied and contented. If you enjoy full-time life and feel comfortable and comfortable enough,With a sense of security, your children will grow better, and your family will be happy and orderly, then you have realized your own value. And if one day, you feel that your value has been lost in this kind of life, you feel that you are distanced from society, and you have less common topics with your husband, you want to try more things and realize your self-affirmation in other things. , then listen to the direction of your heart and look for more possibilities. Everything is your and your family\’s choice and has nothing to do with outsiders. In full-time or workplace, there is no hierarchy, no need to criticize and compare. No doctrine is bigger than your life, and no value can kidnap your freedom. The most important thing is that no mother needs your comments and criticism, because every mother is a fighter!

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