Why do better-behaved children become more miserable when they grow up? You\’ll know it just by looking at children who love to talk back.

There is an old saying in China: A seven-year-old or an eight-year-old is too old to be a dog. In the popular reality show \”Baby\’s New Friend\”, Nicholas Tse\’s father, Nicholas Tse, who attracted much attention, coaxed a 7-year-old amateur boy to eat. As a result, the boy not only refused to eat, but also said back: \”Eat and eat all day long, it is food!\” Xie Xian, who had always been hot, did not hold back, and was a foot towards the little boy\’s buttocks. Of course, I didn\’t kick him hard, just to scare him. The attitude of most netizens is: Children should be educated if they are so rude to their elders, and they should not be used to it all the time. Good job! I think this is also the attitude of most parents when their children talk back and rebel. Some parents may even say angrily: If they are like this at such a young age, I have raised a white-eyed wolf. I don\’t know if he is a white-eyed wolf or not. The editor only knows that German psychology experts once said that children who can have real arguments with their elders tend to have more potential when they grow up. In 2012, a study by psychology researchers at the University of Virginia in the United States also confirmed that children who often talk back to their parents are less likely to engage in bad behaviors such as drug abuse and underage drinking than so-called good children who are docile and obedient. Therefore, when parents are angry about talking back to their children, they should not think that this is a heinous act, but should regard it as a kind of training for their children\’s growth. After all, children who like to talk back have the following ten potentials when they grow up. 1. Children who like to talk back are more intelligent in refuting their parents\’ words and replying with reason and evidence, which requires thinking and processing. This is a process of cultivating logic for children. Generally, children who like to talk back have good logic and appear to be smarter. 2. Children who like to talk back are more courageous to talk back and make their parents unhappy, which often means they will be punished. However, the child still chose to talk back, which shows that he has prepared for the worst and is very courageous. Such children are often not afraid of authority and appear more courageous and responsible. 3. Children who talk back are more independent. Relevant research shows that 80% of children with strong resistance will have strong independent judgment ability when they grow up; only 24% of children with weak resistance will be able to act on their own when they grow up. . Children who talk back tend to have greater potential for independence. 4. Children who talk back are better able to sort out right from wrong. Children’s judgments of right and wrong are always extremely accurate, and they will follow what they think is right in their hearts. Talking back is a way for him to defend his position. 5. Children who talk back are more protective of themselves. Adults may not be right or kind. Many times, the only person who can protect a child is himself. Being able to talk back is also a kind of self-protection ability. 6. Children who talk back are healthier physically and mentally. As long as there are emotions, they need an outlet. A child who suppresses his emotions is often prone to backlog and illness. Such as depression, mania, etc. On the contrary, children who talk back and express their inner feelings are often healthier physically and mentally. 7. Children who talk back are more innovative. Talking back is a sign of flexible thinking. Therefore, such children tend to have more creative thinking and stronger innovation ability. 8. Children who talk back are more capable of solving problems because they have disagreements.Only then will there be controversy. The purpose of arguing is to solve problems. Children who talk back are often more likely to improve their ability to solve problems because of these experiences in the process. 9. Children who talk back have stronger oral expression skills. Children who talk back know better how to express their thoughts and emotions, because it is often said that their oral expression skills are generally not bad. 10. Children who talk back have better social skills. Children who talk back understand better that they have different ideas and arguments, but they can respect each other and listen to each other\’s opinions. Such children tend to handle interpersonal relationships well and have relatively stronger social skills. All in all, a child who talks back is not a good child in the traditional sense, but it does not mean that he is a good-for-nothing child! It is for this reason that Hamburg psychologist Dr. Angelica Fass said: The debate between generations is an important step on the road to adulthood for the next generation. So, does this mean that children who talk back should be left alone? of course not. As the saying goes: There is a ruler in your heart, and your actions will stop. The purpose of our education is to build this ruler so that children can understand \”something to do and something not to do.\” When children talk back, we can guide them in this way: 1. First acknowledge the other person’s feelings. If the mood is out of control, apologize to the child first, and then express your feelings; 2. After both parties have calmed down, express each other’s opinions and guide Children communicate correctly; 3. Avoid saying to children: You are wrong. Effective education, instead of telling him \”this is wrong\”, it is better to tell him \”what is right\”. In addition, if both parties are reasonable and do not want to compromise with the other party, then respect each other, reserve opinions, and seek common ground while reserving differences. 4. Parents should set an example and not force their own will and feelings on their children. This is especially true for parents who are unreasonable children. Always remember this: Instead of telling your children who you want to be, be that person yourself. Teaching by words and deeds is always the highest level of effective education. In addition, parents should understand that talking back is a normal phenomenon that occurs when most children grow up. There are three rebellious stages in children\’s growth. The first rebellious period between 2 and 4 years old: they will express their early subjective consciousness through \”no\”, \”no\”, etc.; the quasi-adult period between 7 and 9 years old: they begin to have a strong sense of independence, and sometimes even feel a little uncomfortable. To be fair, I always think that I have grown up; the third rebellious period between 12 and 17 years old: not to mention adolescence, I pursue individual independence and freedom even more, and I hate all restraints. Faced with children in these three periods, parents need to show full patience and tolerance. The most important thing is to keep up with the pace of your child\’s growth. Because asynchronous growth will be the most heart-wrenching pain in the parent-child relationship. In the documentary \”Post Zero\”, Mengmeng grew up. At the age of 13, she began to enjoy her own private space, disliked things arranged by her parents, and even refused to talk to her parents. It was a normal growth change, but it was difficult for Mengmeng\’s mother to accept it. Every time she faced this \”rebellious\”, \”talking back\” and \”indifferent\” girl, she couldn\’t help but miss her \”little birdy\”, \”lovable\” and \”incredibly dependent\” parents when she was a child.Little Mengmeng. Sometimes I even see the places I walked with and passed by when I was a child, and the food we ate together, and tears fall down my face. However, she forgot: each stage of life will fade away, so the existence of each stage will be meaningful. As for Mengmeng, because of her parents\’ reaction, she has been depressed because she could not understand. She said: I don\’t understand why my parents are so sad! If I could, I would go back to the past, because now that I have grown up, I am not as happy as I was when I was a child. In real life, many times, it’s not the children who talk back, rebel, or become “bad”! It\’s that the child has grown up, but you stay when he was a child. Here, I hope every parent can understand: only by not dwelling on the past can they have the strength to move on with their children. We don’t have to be great, but we must not let ourselves become a heavy burden that hinders the growth of our children.