• Sun. Dec 3rd, 2023

Why it’s hard to be a parent It’s even harder to be a parent in China


Oct 1, 2023

Many people think that it is difficult to be a parent and that family education is difficult. Is it really hard to be a parent? In fact, it is easy to say that it is simple. In the final analysis, it is the four words of \”leading by example\”; but it is also difficult to say, and the difficult point is also these four words. If you want to be a good parent, it is very important not to relax in terms of self-requirements and self-growth. However, many parents feel that they have reached middle age, and due to busy work and other reasons, they give up on self-growth, and then they start to feel anxious. Educating children requires parents to have the ability to take the initiative to learn, and they also need to cultivate their children\’s ability to take the initiative to learn. So how should active learning ability be cultivated? Recommended books on scientific parenting. I really wish my parents had read this book. Download the electronic version. Is it difficult to be a parent with active learning skills that will accompany you throughout your life? Disaster. Why is it difficult? Because after having children, in order to educate them well, parents need to grow up with their children and set a good example for them. Parents will find it difficult if they cannot keep up with their children\’s growth. In fact, what is really difficult is not being a parent, but being a human being itself is difficult. Because the torrent of the times is progressing, and in this long river of life, if you don’t learn and move forward, you will not be able to keep up with the times and will regress. Therefore, we must have the ability to learn. You may not have sports talent, artistic talent, or extraordinary IQ, but you must have the core ability of learning ability. Learning ability is a core skill that we need to use throughout our lives. It does not mean that it is over after the college entrance examination or after leaving school. If you stop studying when you start working, you may encounter a midlife crisis in your thirties or forties. Therefore, the most important thing in educating children is to cultivate their learning ability. Only with the ability to take the initiative to learn can children truly become academic masters and their future career development will be smoother. Without learning ability, children will have insufficient learning potential. Many children are unwilling to study, grind away at homework, and lose their temper in various ways. If this is the case, parents must be vigilant and take precautions in advance. Because as a child grows older, the problems he will encounter in the future will only be more difficult and complex, and there are no standard answers to many questions, and he does not even know where the answers are. He can only explore and learn on his own. Two meanings of learning ability: A child with active learning ability can learn willingly, continue to challenge difficulties when encountering them, think proactively when encountering problems, and find solutions on his own. Active learning ability actually has two meanings. The first level is initiative, which means the child must have the willingness; the second level is ability, which means the child must have sufficient ability. Ability and willingness are not the same. Many children dawdle and get upset when doing homework. What is the problem? Is it because the child does not have the will to take the initiative to learn and complete homework, or does he not have enough ability? In fact, at the beginning, it was the children\’s lack of ability. Active learning and completing homework require children to have a sense of time, time management skills, quickly enter a learning state, and self-discipline. But many children are not capable enough. So it showed that he was dawdling and unfocused, and it seemed like it was a matter of will. Then many parents will giveThe child puts a label on his will, saying that he is playful, dilly-dallying, and inattentive. After being labeled in this way for a long time, children will internalize these labels into their own evaluation. If you say he doesn\’t like to study, he will start to behave badly, and it will really become like this. In fact, the child has the desire to learn at the beginning, but he is just not capable enough. However, parents’ behavior of labeling and suppressing not only fails to cultivate their children’s abilities, but also suppresses their wishes. How to cultivate children\’s learning ability. The development of learning ability is actually two aspects: willingness and ability. Children already have wishes. If parents engage in this kind of labeling behavior, the first thing to do is to stop the loss in time and stop suppressing the children. Then parents should see their children\’s progress. Progress does not mean that a child has done or achieved something. It does not mean that he has completed his homework or helped you with the housework. Progress in cognition and willingness is also progress. Maybe the child still hasn\’t done it well, or even started to do it, but he has begun to have the idea of ​​trying and the action of trying. This also shows that the child has changed his will, which is also the child\’s progress. After seeing their child\’s progress, parents should give him affirmation and encouragement. Parents should take their children to reflect on why they did not do it, what they were thinking at the time, and how to solve the problem. Through reflection again and again, children\’s abilities will gradually improve. In the process of reflection, the child may not say anything when faced with the guidance of the parent. Especially at the beginning, he is likely to be alert and defensive. Because in his memory, telling parents these things would definitely be bad, or it would just be preaching, and maybe even beatings and scoldings. So at the beginning, his first reaction was not to reveal his true feelings, but to wonder if he was being tricked? So what should parents do? What parents have to do is to keep their word and prove to their children: you have really changed and you will never be the same again. Only when your child believes you will he tell you bit by bit. The ability to learn independently is a core skill that should accompany us throughout our lives. The so-called difficulty of being a parent and the mid-life crisis are actually due to the lack of learning ability and the cessation of self-growth. Learning ability contains two meanings, one is willingness and the other is ability. If you want to develop independent learning abilities, these are the two aspects. Therefore, parents should not suppress their children, but should see their children\’s progress, constantly affirm and encourage them.

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