Why should children know how to be grateful? How should parents educate them?

Many people know that they need to be grateful and train their children to be grateful people, but how to do it? How to cultivate? What is the use? Many people are confused. Is it to express material gratitude to people who have helped you? Or verbal thanks as a courtesy? These are only a small part. Gratitude is actually the ability of a person to love others while loving himself. To raise a grateful child, parents themselves must understand the true meaning of love. Below I will share with you my 10 steps to guide my children: 〖★Express Gratitude★〗 12-18 months is the stage when children transition from \”not being able to express in words\” to \”expressing in simple words\”. At this stage, you only need to let the child know: when you give him/her food and toys, he/she says thank you. Let your child understand that even what his/her parents give him/her cannot be taken for granted. 〖★Autonomous Sharing★〗 18 months to 36 months is the stage when children gradually transition from \”self-consciousness\” to \”group consciousness\”. This stage is also a critical time for establishing ground rules. If you indulge your child too much between the ages of 1 and a half to 3 years old, it will strengthen the child\’s self-awareness, weaken the child\’s attention to the outside world, and become too self-centered. Crying is the most common conflict at this stage. Because children have a strong possessive desire for their own belongings, if parents do not provide guidance, or family members always follow the child\’s wishes unconditionally, then the child will use crying methods to try to get everything he wants. When he grows up, Maybe new methods will be used in the future. So, what parents or family members need to do is: don’t be too selfless. You first demonstrate to your child, \”Mom, here is a biscuit. Half of it is for you to eat, and half is for mom.\” Over time, the child will get used to it. When he/she also has a biscuit or other food in his/her hand, the child will use the same method. What you say and do. Also, don’t force children to share when they don’t want to. For example: two children are playing together and want to eat a piece of bread when they see it on the table. Neither one is willing to give it to the other, nor is he willing to tear the bread in half. At this time, parents should not force any child to make concessions, but can use negotiation and substitution methods to ask, \”I have another box of biscuits here. Take a look, who chooses bread and who chooses biscuits?\”〖★Learn to be content. ★〗 Many parents have reported that their children, who are over 3 years old, want to buy everything they see when they go to the supermarket; when they go to a restaurant, they clamor to eat every dish. If you don\’t buy it, just stay where you are, or cry, or run to your grandparents/grandparents for help. Behind such a child, there is at least a parent who obeys the child\’s words, a parent who has no bottom line and principles, or a parent who has a relatively weak personality. Parents become \”little white rabbits\” and children slowly become \”big bad wolves\”. My approach is: you can pick something you like in the supermarket, but you can only pick one thing at a time, and you have to tell me \”why you want it and what you are going to use it for.\” In addition, control the frequency, not based on material things. Rewards serve as habit-building bait. 〖★Experience empathy★〗 This is to cultivate children aged 3-4 to gradually understandA critical time to help each other. When I go cycling in the square on weekends, I usually encourage my children to find a friend first and play together. When two children are riding a bike or skateboarding together and one of them falls, tell your child to help the fallen child, pat the dust off the fallen child, and help the other child to put the car together. Help him up. Then ask, \”Did it hurt from the fall? Is it okay?\” Teach the children how to help each other. 〖★Delayed Gratification★〗 If a child is always in an environment where he/she receives immediate attention all the time, he/she will have poor psychological endurance when facing future setbacks and difficulties, and will be prone to complaining and complaining to their parents. Get used to shirking responsibility. The simplest way: when your child says to you, \”Mom, come here quickly,\” please allow yourself to wait before passing by, and clearly tell your child, \”Mom is doing XXX now, and you need to wait X minutes to come over.\” Another example is : When your child tells you, \”Mom, this is too difficult. I can\’t do it. Please help me do it.\” First, take a look at how difficult the question your child is asking you is, and whether it is something beyond the child\’s ability. . If it is something within the child\’s ability, tell the child decisively, \”Mom thinks you can do it, you just need to think about it and use your little brain.\” But if it is really something beyond the child\’s ability, or it is very dangerous thing, then you can tell your child, \”Let it go for a moment. Mom needs to think about it. In XX minutes, we will come up with a solution together.\” Children don\’t like to be humble. When climbing stairs, everyone wants to be the first to climb. When sitting on the swing for a long time, they are unwilling to come down to play with the children behind. Not only do parents not tell them, they also indulge their children, thinking that being overbearing is the ability to walk in this society, and they believe that \”it is only natural if I don\’t let you, and it is unkind and unjust if you don\’t let me.\” When a child wants to let us play on the seesaw for a while, we must Express thankfulness. After playing for a while, you should also know how much time to leave for the children behind you. \”You consider my position, I also consider your needs, thank each other.\” This ability of empathy must be cultivated from an early age and rely on the words and deeds of parents. 〖★Try to care★〗 It is said that everyone who eats whole grains will not get sick. Parents take good care of their children when they are sick. So when parents are sick, how do they let their children face it? Many people say that they are afraid of infecting their children, so they have to look after their grandparents when they are sick. You can\’t drag your child to the hospital with you, right? Isn’t it possible that the bacteria will come back because of nothing? In fact, too many parents regard themselves as \”gods\” too much. If appropriate, let the children see what their parents look like when they are sick and what kind of care they need. In this way, children can realize how difficult it is for their parents to take care of themselves, and naturally thank their parents for their upbringing. 〖★Allow rejection★〗 This refers to rejection: allowing children to reject parents. On a daily basis, parents often have more power than their children: the right to allow, the right to refuse, the right to choose… To establish authority and prestige in front of children, do notAutocracy requires democracy. The difficulty lies here. Most people’s thinking patterns cannot accept parents listening to their children. For example: when the child is concentrating on building blocks, you want to let the child take a bath, but you know that the child will not be willing to do so, unless you coerce and induce. So can\’t you try another method? You can send a message to your child: After you build this building block in X minutes, go take a bath, and after taking a bath, we will build another one. When issues of principle are not involved, you have to give your children two possibilities of advancement and retreat. If you give your children a step down, they will thank you and respect you in the future. 〖★Never forget your duty★〗 When my son graduated from kindergarten, I was invited to speak at the graduation ceremony. I forgot what else I said, but I remember I said this: \”No matter how successful you are in the future, the last thing you should forget is your first teacher.\” When I said this, my son was standing next to me. listen. Children will remember every word their parents say, both good and bad. Therefore, how parents behave is very important to their children. If parents are people who repay their kindness and never forget their duty, their children will not be too bad. Don\’t worry about others taking advantage of your child\’s kindness, because there will always be people who do. 〖★Facing Humanity★〗 The last step, I think, is the most difficult, and the most important thing to wait for the children to understand. So is it suitable to teach preschool children? This depends on how different parents view it. My opinion is: 4-5 year old children have their own judgment ability and concept of right and wrong. We can appropriately observe children’s feedback through positive cartoons and short plays. For example: when watching \”Calabash Baby\”, I saw the youngest gourd was taken away by the snake spirit and almost killed his brothers. I found that the boy was very anxious, so I asked him, \”What\’s wrong with brother Calabash?\” One of our own is beating one of our own?\” He replied to me, \”Yeah?! How could this happen? Grandpa is crying, what should I do, mom?\” But I am only responsible for asking, not for answering, because my answer can only Representing my opinion will interfere with the child\’s own judgment. Another example: when watching \”Nezha Makes the Sea\”, when I saw Nezha slaying himself with a sword for the principle of \”one person does something and another person is responsible\”, I found that the boy was secretly wiping his tears and looking very angry. So I asked him, \”Do you feel that Nezha left us just like this, so you feel sorry for him?\” The boy nodded. But he didn\’t seem to believe such an ending. He sat on the small bench with his chin in his hands and waited hard. When Nezha appeared from the lotus again, the boy jumped up with joy, \”Mom! Nezha is not dead! That\’s great!\” Already!\” The light in the child\’s eyes told me that he could already distinguish between good and evil. And throughout the whole process, he did not accuse anyone easily and firmly believed in what he thought was right. Seeing this, some people may ask: What does facing good and evil have to do with gratitude? Because this world is originally a mixture of black and white, good and evil. If someone does kindness to you, you should be grateful; if someone does evil to you, you should also laugh it off. As a human being, you must repay kindness and ignore past grudges.

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