Your pattern is your child’s starting line

I met Vivi a few years ago when I was working in the translation department for a large construction project. She studied in Australia for her first year and came home for the summer vacation. It just so happened that there was a vacancy for an intern interpreter in the translation department, working as a translator for a Danish designer. Vivi is over 18 years old and majored in architecture in college, so we asked her to come as an intern. To borrow the words of the boy Xiao Tan, this girl has the aura of a new era goddess in every move she makes. At a young age, she has already traveled to 20 countries. But within a few days, someone discovered something was wrong: why did she stay in the car because it was hot and unwell when she was needed for outdoor translation? It was five o\’clock when she got off work, and she had disappeared. It was said that she had gone to a party. ; She complained about A and B, and in turn complained about C with A and B. Less than two weeks later, Vivi came crying and said: \”This is my first internship, and I feel so tired. I can\’t go on anymore. I hope you can help me write the internship performance report and write it better.\” A few days later, her mother Come and get her internship report. Mom sat down on the sofa, \”Our Vivi said she is under a lot of pressure. You know she is a child, so don\’t give her such a heavy task. What do you think? There are some colleagues who often assign tasks to her.\” Vivi’s mother speaks loudly and looks like a domineering female CEO who cannot be refuted. Her mother’s question without thinking made me immediately find the source of Vivi’s character. Vivi was afraid of hardship and \”smartly\” escaped from the work site. It seems that she had the spiritual protection of her mother, which created her like a weakling. Her mother doted on her and passed the responsibility to others without asking the reason, which shows that In the family, the opinions of daughters are also particularly respected. Vivi talks about her colleagues behind their backs, with the temperament of a willful princess; but her mother is even more powerful, blaming her in person and communicating with others in a commanding tone. Studying abroad, traveling to many countries, and mastering many foreign languages, can these shining labels determine that a person is excellent? The answer is No! Vivi’s mother took great pains to guide her children towards elite education. Unfortunately, my mother still has a superficial and utilitarian understanding of education. If you don\’t have a sound personality, don\’t understand the spirit of cooperation, don\’t know how to respect the rules, and just blame others, you are not a complete \”talent\”. Krishnamurti, an educational thinker, said that even if a person has power, status, and prestige, if he does not understand the true meaning of love, does not have deep tolerance and generosity, and is imprisoned in conceit and arrogance, it is very sad. Parents are the early sculptors of their children. Even if they look beautiful, without a stable ideological foundation, external efforts will be in vain. At a children\’s speech contest, I met 9-year-old contestant Xiaoyou. She stood on the stage and spoke confidently. She revealed that her mother was very stingy and would always shop around on Meituan when going out to eat. Everyone was amused by Xiaoyou\’s vivid narration. She changed her tune and said that her mother suddenly became generous and wanted to donate 1,000 yuan from her expenses to a home for migrant children in the suburbs to help them build a class library. I asked Xiaoyou, which school do you go to? She answered that it was an ordinary urban primary school. \”It\’s close to home, so I can sleep a little longer in the morning.\” She smiled cheerfully.. Xiaoyou\’s mother works full-time as a hospital nurse and volunteers as an organizer in her children\’s communication club. She also picked up the English she had forgotten for many years and chatted with her daughter in English stumblingly. They looked at each other and smiled, like the best friends in the world. Xiaoyou said that don’t think her mother is stingy, but she is her idol. Adults do not have superior authority, and children do not have the privilege of bossing around. There is mutual respect and encouragement. If a mother has a pattern of respecting life and caring for others, her children will naturally be open-minded and have the ability to perceive beauty. \”Don\’t let your children lose at the starting line.\” This demagogic slogan makes us always look at other people\’s children, but we don\’t think carefully about what is the most important starting line for our own children? It\’s your pattern. What is the pattern? Ge refers to personality. Bureau refers to tolerance and mind. Are you willing to grow yourself, settle down to read a good book, and enrich your brain; instead of just brushing WeChat with your right hand to kill time, and ordering your children to do their homework with your left hand; you realize that emotional management is a learnable ability, and observe the emergence of bad emotions The reason is to examine it, accept it and adjust slowly; instead of just losing your temper easily and then regretting and apologizing again and again; if you firmly believe that life is a long-distance race, you will not be obsessed with the so-called starting line; you will not regard parenting as a burden. , but believe in the fate of this life, and cherish the moment of growing together; you believe that the child has his own \”creative self\”, is an independent individual, and will continue to create his own tomorrow. If your original intention is to become a child who knows how to respect, cooperate and be a responsible citizen, remember to remind yourself not to forget the course, so that you will not get lost in the narrow channel of over-focusing on grades and scores. Your structure is the most solid starting line for your child’s life.