2-year-old girl fell to death from building: Please don’t underestimate children’s pranks

In a community in Changsha, a 2-year-old girl, Lily, fell from the 18th floor to the second-floor platform and died. Surveillance video showed Lily and two other children walking into the elevator before the incident. The elevator button was originally on the 9th floor, but a 5-year-old boy lit up the button on the 18th floor. After reaching the 9th floor, all three children got out of the elevator. But soon, the little boy carried Lily back to the elevator. Because the little boy had already pressed the elevator button to the 18th floor, 2-year-old Lily followed the elevator to the 18th floor. After the elevator door opened, she walked out alone. After a while, everyone found Lily who had fallen on the second floor platform. Although sent to the hospital for rescue, Lily died unfortunately. Everyone judged that it might be because the guardrail on the 18th floor was damaged and no glass was installed, and Lily accidentally fell out. Unlike many accidental falls of children, this incident had an additional factor – a \”mischievous\” little boy. The boy\’s behavior triggered heated remarks from many netizens, and someone even wrote an article called \”2-year-old girl fell to her death due to a prank: Parents are the only thing standing between naughty children and murderers.\” We will not discuss who is more responsible for this tragic incident, but we must remind parents not to underestimate their children\’s \”pranks\”. There are two key factors that cannot be ignored in the formation of children\’s pranks. First, pranks among children often involve disparities in power. Strong children are more likely to engage in \”prank\” behavior against weak children. If they cannot be stopped, it may turn into \”bullying\”. Second, pranks are often done to make the perpetrator feel good about themselves. If a child hurts others by playing pranks and is not punished, they are likely to continue to bully others in order to feel \”good\” about themselves. Children\’s predictability of how events will develop is much lower than that of adults. Maybe children do not intend to cause bad consequences when they play pranks, but things will develop unexpectedly and hurt others and themselves. A five-year-old child in Anhui tied one end of a rope he picked up around his waist and the other end to a truck parked on the roadside, hoping to play a prank on passers-by. Unexpectedly, when a driver passed by this road, he saw the child, but he didn\’t expect that the child had a rope tied around his waist. After the vehicle caught the rope, the child was rolled under the vehicle, causing a fracture in the child\’s right leg. When a child plays a mischief, it is best for adults not to defend the child on the grounds that \”he is a child and is not sensible\”, but to take seriously the harm and trouble the child causes to others. Parents must first determine whether the prank contains the element of \”bullying\”. If a child plays a prank on a child who is weaker than himself, he is likely to play a prank on other weaker children. If a child is particularly fond of playing pranks, parents should be even more vigilant. The child may play pranks to make him feel good about himself. Parents should reflect on this. There are many ways to make a child feel good about himself. Why should the child choose this way? Do children often suffer setbacks in their daily lives? Are you often beaten, scolded, or ignored by your parents? In addition to external control, there is also a very important internal control that can reduce children\’s \”mischievous\” behavior. A mother once shared an experience with me.For some special reasons, she was more indulgent towards her son. When he was in elementary school, his son often bullied several classmates in the class who looked weak. Every time these children complained to the teacher, she would run to the school to apologize on their behalf. She also reasoned with her children and even spanked them, but the results were not very good. Once, the teacher called her to go to school and told her that her child had made many crosses with a red pen on a classmate\’s textbook and homework. She went to school again to \”clean up the aftermath.\” When I got home in the evening, the child refused to admit his mistake and said it was just a \”joke\”. She was very angry. In front of the children, she shook out the children\’s textbooks and books from her school bag, took a red pen and started to make crosses on them. At first, the child was very stubborn and refused to admit her mistake. When she got to the second book, the child cried and said to her: Mom, I was wrong, don’t scratch anymore. At that moment, she suddenly discovered that she could teach her children \”don\’t do to others what you don\’t want others to do to you.\” After that, if the child bullies others again, she will use the same method as the child to bully others, and then ask him: Are you happy when others treat you like this? Do you feel like crying? She said this method still works and the child\’s behavior is much better now. The method this mother uses is to let her children have \”empathy.\” Empathy is the ability that allows a person to feel how others are feeling. If a child plays a prank on others to make himself feel good, when he can understand how the person being pranked feels, he will no longer \”feel good\” and will naturally give up the behavior. Empathy develops around the age of 3-4 and is often related to a child\’s early experiences. If a child is crying and sad and his parents comfort him, for example by giving him something to comfort him, he may imitate this behavior. When the mother cries, the child will give her a toy that he likes very much, or give her something he is eating. The meaning of this behavior is – I see you crying, this thing can stop me from crying, if I give it to you, you will stop crying. When a child reaches the age of 4, he will begin to realize that his own emotions can affect the emotions of others. Sometimes we see that when one child is sad, the other child may give up playing and just stay with him. Although the child does not yet know how to comfort his peers, he will give up things that make him happy. How is empathy built? Many studies have found that before the child is 3-4 years old, if the parents are gentle to the child, often encourage the child, are sensitive to the child\’s needs, and can empathize with the child\’s emotions, the child\’s empathy will develop better, and they will also More likely to show helpful behaviors to peers. Children raised by angry, harsh, and violent parents show less empathy. On the contrary, when they find that their peers are unhappy, they are more likely to be fearful, angry, and behave aggressively. Although empathy may begin to develop in children when they are two or three years old, it is never too late to cultivate it. There are even adults who suddenly show empathy for certain types of people after experiencing certain things. Parents can guide their children to think by asking questions: How would I feel if this happened to me.For example: How would you feel if someone took your toy away? How would you feel if someone told you you were stupid? Although \”pranks\” are very common in our lives, and there are many \”pranks\” that seem to have no serious consequences, we still hope that parents can be vigilant about their children\’s \”prank\” behaviors to prevent pranks from turning into tragedies.