Accidentally, I made the mistake that most mothers have made.

I took Liuliu to club med in Sanya for vacation. After breakfast, the weather was warm but not hot. It was just comfortable. There were many children having fun on the grass. Liuliu completely ignored my instructions behind him to \”slow down, be careful not to fall\” and ran wildly in circles on the grass, just like a happy rabbit. I should have been happy watching the little figure running under the warm sun, but there were so many people at that time, and I was really worried that she would bump into her, and that she would bump into other children. Sure enough, Liuliu didn\’t stop and collided with a little girl about 2 years old. The little sister fell down and squatted on her butt, and started crying as she sat there. Liuliu got up quickly and looked at her sister with a confused look on her face, and then at me who was chasing after her hurriedly. In fact, it can be seen that neither of them fell seriously. The little sister\’s mother also kept coaxing her \”It\’s okay, it\’s okay\” and didn\’t show any blaming emotions. However, maybe I was a little irritated by the fact that my child was \”disobedient\” when I kept telling him before. Maybe it was because of the little \”face\” between adults, so I blurted out: \”I told you not to run around, but you just didn\’t listen.\” , look, did you bump into a kid? Did you say sorry?\” Liuliu twisted the corner of his clothes, curled his lips and said \”I\’m sorry\”, and burst into tears. Liuliu was usually a polite child, but this \”I\’m sorry\” seemed a little more reluctant. I didn\’t think anything was wrong at the time. Things calmed down naturally and we all left. Later, Liuliu, who was always having fun outside, was always a little out of state and depressed that day. I asked her what happened, and Liuliu curled his lips and said, \”You\’re being mean to me.\” I was a little surprised: \”When?\” Liuliu said, \”When I bumped into a kid.\” Then he added hurriedly. : \”But I didn\’t mean to hit her.\” Thinking back to what happened on the grass, the reason why Liuliu cared about this matter was probably because he felt regret and uneasiness after knocking down his sister, and when he expected to get help from his mother, he heard Instead, they are complaining and blaming. As for me, my original intention was to feel sorry for her for her fall and to be angry that she had made the mistake of knocking down someone else. However, I didn’t notice her emotions at all. I blurted out my words as if I had already understood everything but you didn’t listen, with the words “I deserve it.” ” means gloating about one’s misfortune. In this way, I successfully changed Liuliu\’s mood from regret to grievance, and inadvertently said words that made her sad and embarrassed. If I could go back to the scene at that time, I would choose to say \”Do you have anything to say to your little sister?\” and give her enough patience to express apology and kindness instead of \”I told you so\” and commanding \”sorry\”. After reflecting on my recklessness, I sincerely apologized to Liuliu. So, the weather finally turned cloudy and the child continued to play happily. Suddenly I discovered that most mothers have made this mistake – ignoring the signals sent by their children\’s little emotions. For example, a child wants his parents to play with him, but we are scrolling through our phones, talking casually, and occasionally looking up, completely unaware of the disappointment in the child\’s repeated calls. Later, the child cried, made trouble, and became unwilling. We then said, \”Why is this child so troublesome? He has such a bad temper.\”\”Okay.\” For example, during a chat with adults, a child suddenly inserts a childlike statement. We disapprovingly say, \”What do you know?\” but fail to notice that the child\’s joyful participation has turned into a feeling of not being taken seriously. After a few times, the child doesn’t like to talk to adults anymore, and he doesn’t answer questions well. We then say, “Why is it so difficult to make friends with children?” In fact, there are many such examples around us, and they appear in every family. Daily life. Thinking back to Liuliu’s uneasy eyes on the grass, the embarrassment of pulling at the corner of his clothes, and the grievance of curling his lips, all of these are expressions of \”I regret it, I don’t like my mother saying this, I am very sad\”, and I was indeed I ignored her emotions and didn\’t realize what I was doing was wrong. If I could have felt her helplessness and help for help when Liuliu knocked down the child and looked at me, then I wouldn\’t have said those complaints. If I could realize Liuliu\’s sadness and grievance when I blurted out the blame, then the hurt would not silently take shape in the child\’s heart. Fortunately, when I later discovered Liuliu\’s unhappiness and asked the reason, she truthfully Only after she told me could I apologize and calm her down. Imagine if she often felt that she was not understood, and when she grew up, she was no longer willing to tell me her thoughts. Faced with the question \”What\’s wrong?\”, she suppressed her heart What should we do if we are unhappy and simply reply \”Nothing\”? Children are just like adults, all unhappiness has a reason. Crying, fussing, and ignoring others are just ways for children to express their emotions. However, Before these cathartic emotions, there will be various small emotions, but they are easily ignored by us. I remember that when I was young, I often wrote some poems and essays about spring and sadness in order to compose new poems. In the boundless sea of ​​family love, but still looking forward to it, if you understand me, it would be great. We always regret that our parents care too much about our academic performance, but do not understand the small ripples in our hearts enough; they are considerate. They care about our daily life, but they do not fully take care of our ups and downs. Now that we are parents, the scientific parenting and empathy education that we talk about every day make our children feel understood in actual interactions. How many points? No matter how old the child is, standing by her side, understanding her heart, and giving her full understanding and respect are always the most important lessons a parent should do.

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