Accidentally, I yelled at my child again.

A few days ago, I took my son out to have breakfast together. Directly in front of us sat two mothers pushing their babies. They had just finished their meal and were chatting with their babies in their arms. One of the little guys always stares at his son as he eats, which is so cute. Both little guys should be less than 1 year old. I heard them say that their children always have to be held and cry when they are put down. I remembered that my son was like this when he was six or seven months old. A mother said, \”Oh! Yesterday, it was because she didn\’t allow me to eat and she cried as soon as she put her down. I accidentally yelled at my child again.\” \”Actually, I feel guilty every time because the child still smiles at me, and the more he laughs, the more I yell.\” The more I laugh, the more guilty I feel.\” Another mother said, \”I even hit her when I got anxious. One time I really hit her hand, but she also laughed.\” The child thought that the mother was just teasing him. But when a mother yells at a child who is several months old, she will definitely feel super regretful and blame herself when she is calm. Why do we yell at our children? To sum up, it is probably due to the following reasons: The first reason is: emotions are not released and \”anger\” accumulates. We think about the difficulties of the two new mothers mentioned above, and it is understandable. They certainly don\’t want to lose their temper with their little children. But I just can’t control it, why? Often there is too much hard work and anxiety accumulated inside. Every mother will understand the hardship of raising a child alone. Even if you are full and hungry, you cannot wrong your children. Busy around, making milk and peeing, playing with her during the day, and sleeping with her at night. It\’s rare to have a full night\’s sleep, and my body and mind are even more tired. Am I doing it correctly? Why do children cry? Why do you always have to hold it? What did the mother-in-law think? Why can\’t my husband understand it and never get into the role? The result of a person who is sleep deprived and anxious is nervousness and anger. Easily lose control of temper. However, we can understand this difficulty, but it cannot be the reason for yelling at the child. As parents, you should try your best to avoid venting such garbage emotions on the people closest to you. To solve this problem, we need the warmth of the family and the love of the husband. Therefore, the relationship between a family often determines the temperament of the family members. The husband determines the temperature of his wife, and the wife determines her husband\’s temperament. The temperament of parents directly determines the emotional development of children. The second reason is often the most common. The child was disobedient. I wanted to do it for his own good, but he did the opposite, which made me yell loudly. In fact, many times, we ourselves know that yelling doesn’t work at all. However, parents feel that they are doing their best for their children, but their children do not listen. They lose their temper in a hurry and force their children to obey. Why should children be made to obey? Because it\’s for the good of the children. For example, when it’s time to eat, the child says he doesn’t want to eat. Parents definitely want their children to eat on time, because delaying eating until eight or nine in the evening is not good for the body. At this time, the child insisted that he would not eat, but the parents insisted. So the volcano erupted. When I was making dinner yesterday, my son said he wanted to go to bed because he was too sleepy. I told you to get up after cooking. But when the time came, I couldn’t afford it no matter how much I asked, so I had to bargain. I am also very angry when I wake up, which is troublesome just thinking about it. But what if I don’t eat? My wife and I both thought we should wake him up. As a result, he kept making noises and said he wanted to sleep. If according to the levelIf you treat it rationally and calmly, just stop eating and go to sleep. But he happened to have a fever caused by gastroenteritis a few days ago. Reversing time like this makes us very angry. As a result he lost his temper. Fortunately, I stopped in time and went outside to calm down for a while. Because the son who was crying wildly did not listen to any reasons or persuasion at all. I just kept repeating the sentence \”Go to sleep!\” After I calmed down, I said to my angry wife, \”Let him sleep. It\’s okay if he doesn\’t eat.\” Sometimes, you have to find a different approach. When you encounter such a stubborn donkey, you still have to think of a solution. We said we should eat early for his own good. But he felt that what he wanted to do most was sleep. And the discomfort of not waking up made him very irritable and unwilling to listen to anything. Then let him vent it out first. After letting him sleep for a while, he began to calm down. We also calmed down. This is when effective communication begins to be established. Temper is a devil when it is out of control, and you can get into a blind corner accidentally. And then hurt each other hard. Another main reason is that the parents themselves are helpless and can only rely on yelling to prove their effectiveness. Some behaviors of children can make parents feel helpless, and this helplessness can trigger inner anxiety and anger. There are always two solutions to the same thing, it depends on which one you choose. Last time I was at a relative\’s house, I saw my relative helping his son with his homework. The little guy just entered the first grade. When he was doing homework, he was looking for an eraser, saying he wanted to change a pen, and chatting with us. His mother was anxious next to him. After giving two warnings to no avail, she hit him right on the head and face. The people on the side couldn\’t hold him back. \”For whom do I work so hard every day? I don\’t want you to be successful, so you just do this homework!\” \”I won\’t give you a good beating today, you don\’t know what to do.\” What we see is a helpless person. The mother was complaining angrily. However, apart from being obedient at the time, it is often difficult for children to make real changes. Every time he did his homework, he was still so half-hearted. Why not find out the reason? This little guy is a TV addict and watches TV for at least two hours every day after school. He also cannot stay on a toy for more than a few minutes when playing with toys. Concentration is very poor, and this is the real reason why he can\’t calm down while doing homework. Children are different from us in that their attention span is limited. The younger the child, the shorter the attention span. And I found that while he was doing homework, his mother was accompanying him while writing, which further disrupted the child\’s rhythm. Because she kept pointing and pointing, and when she saw a stroke was crooked, she would immediately scold him and ask him to correct it. Seeing that a number was calculated incorrectly, he asked the child to check it with a straight face. If you know that the child is not deliberately making things difficult for you, but has another reason. Then you won\’t lose your temper like this. Too many parents say, \”I am doing it for your own good, so you have to listen to me!\” \”Why should you listen?\” \”Because I am right, and I am doing it for your own good.\” \”Why are you right?\” \”Because I am an adult.\” \”Why are adults right?\”… Please answer the child sincerely. Do adults really have to be right? So don\’t lose your temper because your child doesn\’t listen to you. Because you are not necessarily right. If possible, please putLet’s analyze the process and reasons for the last time you yelled at your child. On the surface, it seems that it is always the child\’s fault, but the underlying reason is the parents\’ own temperament. Many parents, especially mothers, often complain about the unsatisfactory life, complain about their husbands not working hard, complain about their children not working hard enough, and feel that there is no happiness and joy in life. Over time, she will become a \”resentful\” mother. However, how can a mother without happiness raise a child with happiness? And our children do not have a happy heart and have a long road to growth. What kind of torture it is!