• Wed. Feb 21st, 2024

Awesome, I have never seen such a cruel father!

Most of today\’s parents are accustomed to sparing no effort to meet their children\’s requirements. Although parents often believe that satisfying their children\’s requirements is also beneficial to their children\’s growth, in general, children are children after all, and unreasonable demands are better than rational ones. The requests come in many and fast, so many parents feel that they have become their children\’s \”wish-fulfillers\”. Sadly, they do not have the courage to say \”no\”. What is even more troublesome for parents is that even if their children get what they want, they are still not satisfied. They may even have unsatisfied desires, and their demands become harder and harder to satisfy each time. However, I believe many parents have seen similar research results, that is, children who were spoiled in childhood often have difficulty facing setbacks in life when they grow up. Those adults who got what they wanted as children will mostly have problems at work and in interpersonal relationships, and their perception of reality will also be distorted to a certain extent. Today\’s children have a lot to gain, and most of the parents have gone through hardships. It is difficult not to satisfy their children. As everyone knows, \”appropriate dissatisfaction\” of children\’s requirements is the art of teaching children. Therefore, \”bad\” parents realize that perhaps they should teach their children some more important things, such as the concept of hard work, the ability to delay gratification, perseverance in the face of setbacks, honesty, and abundance. Sympathy. In an era of increasingly fierce competition, children should be allowed to endure more setbacks in order to be more stable in the rapids, but parents often confuse indulgence with love. \”Bad\” parents have always believed that those who overindulge their children will make their children more susceptible to anxiety and depression in adulthood. Nowadays, fortunately, some sober parents have begun to realize that \”satisfying their children to the maximum extent\” can only bring more harm, and they are working hard to learn to say \”no\” to their children. Because a child who has never tasted the feeling of being rejected is definitely unlikely to have a strong ability to resist frustration. Saying \”no\” to your children and not giving them a chance to bargain will not only enhance your prestige in your children\’s minds, but is also the best way to teach your children how to behave and do things. The following is a father’s experience of not meeting his children’s demands appropriately: Recently, my daughter Shanshan has been giving me a lot of trouble. She always makes demands of one kind or another. Generally speaking, my wife and I will try our best to meet her reasonable requirements. But Shanshan already has several dolls, and a few days ago she asked for a new Barbie doll. \”No, you already have several. Didn\’t Aunt Zhang just give you one last time?\” \”That one doesn\’t look good. I don\’t like it. I want the new one.\” Seeing that his method is not working , Shanshan started crying, her voice getting louder and louder. My wife really had no choice, so she went over to coax her and said, \”Go and tell your dad, if your dad agrees to buy it for you, then buy it.\” My wife shouted at me He winked. At this time, I know that I should cooperate with my wife in educating my children. The most taboo thing is that parents have different opinions. I said to Shanshan: \”Shanshan, dad can\’t agree to your request.\” Before I finished speaking, Shanshan opened her mouth and wanted to cry again, but I still did not compromise and continued: \”If what you ask is reasonable,Neither your mother nor I will refuse your request. Do you think your parents have ever refused your reasonable request? But your request is totally unreasonable. Don’t you have so many Barbie dolls? \”Seeing Shanshan go back to her room angrily, I turned to my wife and said: \”We should be more serious when rejecting the child. We should let her know that we have completely rejected her unreasonable demands. \”After that time, as long as I reject Shanshan, she will know that I have seriously considered her request. As long as I reject the request, it means that her request is unreasonable and there is no room for negotiation. Child The desire is very strong, so if you want to satisfy the endless desires of your children, no matter how wealthy the family or the soft-hearted parents are, they cannot always be able to respond to their requests. Therefore, \”bad\” parents must first learn to reject their children\’s unreasonable needs and insist on own attitude and explain to their children the reasons why they do not meet their requirements. More importantly, \”bad\” parents should also let their children know that in this world, they will not be able to get whatever they want. In real life, \”Bad\” parents who reject their children not only need to reject their children\’s unreasonable demands, but also learn to reject their children\’s \”asking for help\” from you. This will help the children get rid of their dependence on you and let them learn to overcome it on their own. Difficulty. This is also one of the arts of \”appropriate dissatisfaction\”. For example, when the following situation occurs, we should learn from the following father: \”Dad, help me…\” When my son can\’t stand firmly on a skateboard When asking me for help, I usually watch from a distance, smiling and encouraging him to skate on his own. When my son first learned to skateboard, I would follow him every time. When he became unsteady, I would rush forward to help him. , which made my son very dependent on me as soon as he skateboarded, and he learned slower than other children. Later, when my son could slowly skate on his own, I became cruel and stopped helping him. I told others not to I used to take him with me, no matter how he called us, we just didn\’t come forward to help him. Sometimes people even jokingly said to me: \”I have never seen such a cruel father!\” \”But since then, my son has learned very quickly. \”Bad\” parents have many \”bad tricks\” on how to master this \”art of dissatisfaction.\” The first is to resolutely not satisfy the child when he cries. When the child insists on continuing to cry, he will not satisfy the request, or even ignore it. When the child insists on continuing to cry, in addition to not meeting the request, he will also A certain punishment should be given, such as not buying him ice cream that day; when the child does not cry, he should be given a lot of attention, but this kind of attention is best to give the child psychological comfort and enlightenment. For example, parents can Use eyes, tone of voice, touching, hugging, etc. to convey attention to the child. When doing this, the child can feel the sincerity of the parent. If the child behaves well after experiencing rejection, parents must pay special attention and Give strong praise, and even praise the child in front of others. In addition, first of all, when \”appropriately not meeting\” the child\’s requirements, \”bad\” parents should alsoBe careful to have faith and patience. Because children have formed habits, even for adults, the habits they develop cannot be changed overnight. Parents must be careful not to give up after trying it once or twice. They must pay attention to the growth and progress of their children. Have confidence and at the same time have enough patience to help children get rid of bad habits. Secondly, in the process of educating children, \”bad\” parents also believe that they must not be emotional. Do not let your own emotions, joy and anger affect the education of your children, and you must have a strong balance in your mind, always grasp the principles of education, and never let your emotions affect your children\’s education. If it is in line with the principle, you must not turn a blind eye. In addition, you must ensure that the education methods of both parents are consistent. It cannot be that a certain behavior is not allowed in front of the father, but is allowed in front of the mother, or it cannot be the father\’s \”morning\”. \”Order\”, the mother \”changed\”. In addition, \”bad\” parents must master the opportunity to give their children a choice within an appropriate range, such as giving their children two toys and letting them choose one, and allowing their children to make their own decisions. Opportunities, moderate dissatisfaction does not mean total dissatisfaction. Finally, just like a teacher will \”teach and learn from each other\” in the process of contact with students, as a parent, you must actually grow up with your children. \”The Book of Changes\” says \” To educate children, we must pay attention to giving them the correct education from the beginning, and learn more about how \”bad\” parents teach their children. For this reason, it is necessary for parents to learn systematic scientific education knowledge so that they can be applied early to avoid When a child has a problem, he tries to find a way to correct it. The timing of rewards and punishments must be grasped. The \”badness\” of \”bad\” parents is that when the child makes demands in an abnormal way or makes unreasonable demands, the parents are firm and firm. Refuse; and when the child\’s request is reasonable, the parents will satisfy it. Parents must maintain a unified approach when it comes to meeting or not meeting a child\’s request, otherwise smart children will be very good at taking advantage of loopholes.

By admin

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