I remember Wang Han said this: \”Parents\’ hands are used to hug their children, not to spank them.\” However, in life, many parents can\’t help but get angry with their children, or even attack them, often falling into The endless cycle of \”making you angry – getting angry at him – regretting it\”. Rui Ma here reminds all parents that children in the following three stages must not be beaten or scolded. Children under 3 years old cannot be spanked. The period before 3 years old is the most important period for children’s psychological growth. It is normal for children under 3 years old to lack awareness of rules due to their immature mental development. At this stage, children\’s activities are mainly to meet physiological needs, mainly a series of conditioned reflexes caused by eating, drinking, defecation, peeing, and sleeping, which are unconscious. Moreover, children of this age are in a state of swing between autonomy and shyness and doubt. If the child is beaten and scolded at this time, it will not only have no warning effect, but will also make the child confused about his own behavior and feel ashamed. If things go on like this, it will develop a timid character and affect the child\’s psychological development. The most important thing is, how can a child under 3 years old withstand the \”slap\” of an adult? Delicate skin can easily cause damage even if the hand is gentle, especially the child\’s head. A slight collision may cause a concussion and affect the development of the brain. What should parents do? How can we control our children without damaging their sense of self-control and autonomy? First of all, you can deal with it coldly. When the child is making trouble unreasonably, the parents can ignore him. Slowly, the child will form a consciousness: this method of crying is useless. Parents must not respond positively to their children\’s unreasonable troubles, as this will allow them to establish a connection between their own crying and the adults\’ fulfillment of their demands. Don’t think that your children are still young and don’t understand anything. This stage is the enlightenment stage for them to explore themselves and the external world. Parents can also use angry expressions to tell their children that this behavior is wrong. As mentioned above, don\’t think that children don\’t understand anything. Children at this stage have learned to act based on adults\’ faces. If you write your anger on your face, your children will stop when they see it. Children after the age of 6 cannot be beaten. After the age of 6, children\’s sense of independence has developed well, their self-esteem has become stronger and stronger, and they begin to desire the recognition and appreciation of their parents and others for their efforts and abilities. At this stage, whether it is behavioral violence or verbal violence, it will easily hurt the child\’s self-esteem, and it is likely to develop a character of cowardice and low self-esteem, which will have a negative impact on the child\’s interpersonal influence. Moreover, during this period, children who are beaten and scolded can clearly remember their parents\’ attitude towards them, which not only creates a long-term psychological shadow, but also the children will follow the same example and gradually grow into violent tempers and violent tempers at the slightest disagreement. A person who speaks ill of others. In addition, a psychology professor at Harvard University tested some children. They found that when a child is one year old, imagination and creativity are as high as 96%. As the age increases, the reverse occurs at the age of seven. At the age of 10, the child\’s rich imagination and creativity disappear, leaving only 4% of the original. This is because the child isIn the process of growing up, an average person will suffer 20,000 \”hurts\”. Among them, the ones who hurt them the most came from their parents. Therefore, beating and scolding by parents can easily inhibit children\’s creativity and imagination, making them timid and lack curiosity and enthusiasm. What should parents do? Children of this age can already understand the truth. First of all, we need to give the child a chance to speak and explain, to figure out what he is thinking and why he behaves like this. When we think that a child cannot have a next time, we must look at him and point out his mistakes seriously. The mood should be stable, the language should be concise, and never chatter endlessly. Many times, we are used to nagging our children, but we often fail to get to the point. This will not only fail to convince the child, but will also produce an over-limit effect and make the child have a rebellious mentality. We must remember that what we blame is the child\’s behavior, not the child. Never criticize the child\’s personality or character. Let the child know that mom and dad are only dissatisfied with his behavior and always respect and love him. Finally, we have to tell our children that although we have made mistakes, our love for him will not diminish even a little bit. Criticize when you make a mistake, it has nothing to do with love or dislike. Once it is corrected, this matter will be settled and let bygones be bygones. Adolescent children should not be spanked. Adolescent children are like ponies with horns, they are both stubborn and prickly. They do not want to be overprotected by their parents, cannot tolerate their parents\’ discipline, and want to be independent. They always talk and get along with their parents in ways that their parents don\’t like or are not used to, and they contradict them everywhere. They are full of inner tension and always want to show off their differences. , wear unconventional clothes, pierce ears, wear earrings, smoke… and sometimes even make the family upset. Faced with such children, many parents can\’t help but slap them. Doing so will not have any effect. He will feel that this is a serious trampling on his personality and will generate strong resistance. For adolescent children, the more you try to control them, the more unyielding they become; the more you beat and scold them, the more rebellious they become. It is almost impossible to control them like a child of several years old! Because from the beginning of puberty, whether boys or girls, their bodies and minds are occupied and controlled by a huge force, and their thoughts and behaviors will undergo tremendous changes – this force is hormones. Scientists have discovered that hormones make the amygdala, the part of the brain that controls emotions, particularly active, so teenagers have greater emotional ups and downs. The forehead, the commander-in-chief of the brain, which is responsible for intelligence and decision-making, generally matures between the ages of 20 and 25. Therefore, the emotions of adolescent children are easily fluctuated by hormones, and the late-maturing forehead cannot control the situation, making the whole person appear impulsive and irrational. Therefore, when adolescent children lose their temper, are irritable, and are disobedient, they are not deliberately going against their parents. It is more because of the hormones in their bodies. What should parents do? Parents should adjust their mentality, blame less, be more considerate, and be more patient and tolerant. The best way to establish a good relationship with adolescent children is equality and respect. Parents should strive to be in the same camp as their children and maintain a close relationship.Smooth communication. Leave a certain amount of space for your child and don’t interfere or intrude too much.