Even if you don’t hit or scold, you can set rules for your children.

The child suddenly becomes full of shortcomings, \”throwing things around, likes to hit and scold others, often loses his temper and speaks harshly, is stubborn when sharing things he doesn\’t understand…\” Many parents feel anxious because of this, and begin to wonder if it is them. Didn’t you educate your children well? The child was stingy and didn\’t know how to share toys. \”Don\’t let others play with toys.\” Once I took Lemon to the playground, bringing a ball and a dog-shaped car. I was playing ball with her when suddenly, she shouted \”Dog! Dog!\” Then she ran away. It turned out that there was a little boy sitting in her dog car. She pushed the little boy out of the car without saying a word. The little boy started crying. I told my grandma about this when I got home. Grandma said that Lemon often does this during this period. After playing with other people\’s things, he takes special care of his own things. Whenever others move, he yells, \”This is mine.\” !\” Is my child really a stingy person? Analysis: \”Domineering and stingy\” behaviors generally appear after children are about 2-3 years old. At this time, children\’s self-awareness has developed greatly, and their \”I\” awareness gradually becomes clearer, and they begin to Differentiate themselves from others, and gradually extend this distinction to items and toys, and \”protect\” their belongings in a decent way. In their eyes, \”everything is mine\”, which makes them look \”selfish\” ,overbearing\”. But in fact, this is an exercise in property ownership for the child. By confirming the ownership of the item, he can understand his relationship with the item. It\’s not really \”selfish or stingy\”, it\’s just a normal stage of development. As children develop their awareness of sharing, this exclusive phenomenon will slow down. Suggestions: 1. Since children in this period have a strong \”desire for possession\”, parents may wish to allocate some toys, daily necessities, etc., let the children control and manage them, respect and satisfy the children\’s desire to possess such items. 2. Parents should let their children understand that sharing does not mean losing, and that they can also experience happiness in the process of sharing. Use a consultative and friendly tone to \”borrow\” items from your children. With \”permission\”, cultivate a sense of sharing. Never force your children to share. If a child is often deprived of the right to choose when he first learns to assert his own rights, it will be easier for him to develop a dependent personality as an adult. Does my child have obsessive-compulsive disorder? 3-year-old Youyou has been crying non-stop because of little things recently. For example, when he is watching a cartoon and his mother calls him to eat, when he comes back he insists on his mother playing the cartoon again after watching more than half of it; for another example, when the doorbell rings at home, he insists on opening the door by himself. If someone else When he opens the door, he will push those who have come in, close the door, and then ask them to ring the bell and open the door again. When eating candy, he has to peel it off by himself. If an adult tears off the candy wrapper, he will get angry. Throw it away and ask for a new one. Analysis: If your child also shows similar behavior to Youyou, \”you have to try everything yourself, and have strict requirements on places, order, conventions and habits, etc.\”, then your parents should be happy, because your child is sensitive to order. Expect! This will only appear when the child\’s mind and psychology mature to a certain extent. in thisDuring this period, children express their understanding of the environment, understanding and attitude towards things through \”I want to do it\”, \”I want to do it myself\”, and \”I don\’t\”. When their sense of order is satisfied, they will feel safe and happy. If we can help children develop a good sense of order during this period, they will also place items in an orderly manner and do things in an orderly manner in their future life and work. Clearly, these are habits that will benefit them throughout their lives. Suggestions: 1. Parents should understand their children when they cry because \”order\” is broken. If the child just asks for \”do it again,\” then do it again, otherwise you may spend more time calming the child\’s crying. 2. If the child has his own order for placing certain things or items, then parents can let the child do it by himself. They only need to ask his opinion before doing anything related to him. Don\’t do it for him without authorization. In addition, you can also let your children tidy up toys and daily necessities. This will not only help children develop a neat and orderly habit, but also satisfy them. Does your child always like to do the same thing over and over again? The first cartoon that Lemon came into contact with was \”Peppa Pig\”. She watched 2 or 3 episodes every day. She watched more than 50 episodes of the first season of the cartoon over and over for 4 months, every night before going to bed. She would also pester me to tell her about the picture book \”Peppa Pig\”. You must know that many of the contents of the picture book and the cartoon are the same. In addition, she also likes to press switches, play the same game, and listen to the same song over and over again. . . . . . She was very serious and devoted every time she did it. Wouldn\’t she find it boring to do the same thing all the time? Analysis: Children like to do the same thing repeatedly. This is not a shortcoming, but a way for them to learn new things. Since babies\’ cognitive abilities, imagination and memory are still very imperfect, they cannot accept a large amount of information in a short period of time like adults. If you watch different cartoons and picture books every time, you will be unable to remember and accept it. Repeating it again and again can avoid this phenomenon, allowing children to test their own memories and expectations through repetition, and learn from it. Feel a sense of accomplishment. Moreover, we believe that \”boring\” repetition is not simply repetition for children, but brings new feelings and experiences every time. As the baby\’s psychological level improves, the phenomenon of repetition will gradually disappear. Suggestions: 1. Since \”repetition\” is the way children learn, we might as well be more patient, share the joy of their growth while accompanying them to \”repeat\” things, and appropriately satisfy their need for \”repetition\”. 2. If we want to introduce new books or games to our children, it is best to start with something that has a certain relationship with the old ones. For example, if the child likes Dr. Seuss’s picture book \”Green Eggs and Ham\”, when we introduce the new book to the baby, , you can consider other classic picture books by Dr. Seuss, such as \”Fox in Socks\”, \”Hop On Pop\”》. . . . . The same author has relatively unified painting style and language features, which will be easier for children to accept. Why is my child \”crazy\”? My nephew Niu Niu is 5 years old this year. Every time there is a family gathering, the little guy seems to be on stimulants. Sometimes he climbs on the coffee table, sometimes jumps on the sofa, and sometimes rolls all over the floor and runs wildly in the room. My cousin would beat him angrily every time, but it had no effect. Every time there were more people, he would make a fool of himself and make a fool of himself. But according to my cousin, Niu Niu is usually very obedient. Analysis: The behavior of \”people come crazy\” usually occurs in children aged 3-6 years. When there are guests at home, parents will usually be busy talking to the guests and ignore the child. The child will feel psychologically left out, but as an immature person, he has no better way to get everyone to pay attention to him, so he just I may have chosen a wrong way to \”gain my sense of presence\”. His abnormal behavior is just a reminder to everyone: Don\’t forget me. When a child discovers that adults are starting to pay attention to him because of his \”crazy behavior\”, he will try his best to express himself. Perhaps he knows that he will be criticized for some inappropriate behavior, but he will still enjoy it because he has won attention. Reminder: 1. Children who spend less time with their parents and are strictly disciplined are often prone to going crazy. Therefore, parents should spend more time with their children, and at the same time give them a loose and free space to grow. Do not over-control their children when it comes to things that do not affect others or are non-principled, lest they challenge your rules when they think it is \”appropriate\” and authority. 2. In order to prevent children from causing chaos due to being ignored, parents can appropriately allow children to participate in entertaining activities, such as bringing slippers to guests, helping guests put away clothes, serving fruits, etc., so that children can fully feel that they are valued. If the child is more outgoing, the father Mothers can also give their children an opportunity to show off their skills in front of guests, such as reciting a Tang poem, dancing, etc., and praise their children for being polite. Why do children often say \”harsh words\” and \”swearing words\”? Yanyan is the child of my best friend\’s family. The little girl is very quiet and cute. However, since entering kindergarten, Yanyan often uses swearing and harsh words. During a party, After the meal, I discovered that \”I don\’t like you anymore!\”, \”Idiot!\”, \”I\’m going to kick you off the stairs\” and other dirty words are Yanyan\’s pet words. My best friend was particularly embarrassed at the side. If there weren\’t so many people, she would have started to \”educate\” Yanyan long ago. Analysis: The \”curse sensitive period\” generally occurs when a child is around 3 years old, and is closely related to the child\’s \”language sensitive period\”. It can be regarded as a special manifestation of the \”language sensitive period\”. Different children have different intensity of reactions. Initially, children say dirty words just out of curiosity, so we can often see that when children say harsh words, they often smile and play it completely as a game without any malice. But when adults React strongly when your child uses curse words. Children feel the power of these words from adults\’ attitudes, and they begin to use them lightly. In fact, speaking dirty and cruel words is just a childA phased behavior usually passes quickly, so parents don’t need to worry too much. Don\’t take it too seriously, face your child\’s behavior calmly, and his behavior will disappear faster. Suggestions: 1. When a child says harsh words, the most effective way is to treat him coldly and ignore his behavior. When the child finds that these words cannot attract attention and do not produce much power, they will not use them again in the future. . 2. Reduce the chances of children coming into contact with children or adults who have habitual swearing behavior. When we hear someone around us swearing, we can immediately say to the child, \”That person is swearing. It\’s so rude. Everyone will do it.\” Don’t like him”. Of course, when explaining these principles to children, just point them out and there is no need to emphasize them again and again. Otherwise, these methods will also strengthen the children\’s behavior.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *