Recently, there was a \”Six-year-old girl reasoning with her mother: You raised me so big and you still beat me!\” \”The video has been widely circulated on the Internet, causing heated discussions among many netizens. What is going on? Video review: \”You raised me so big and you still beat me!\” A six-year-old daughter was beaten by her mother and cried. She cried and tried to reason with her mother. Her little voice sounded cute and pitiful: \”You raised me so big and you still hit me… \”If you say something and I don\’t listen, you have to say it properly. You can\’t hit anyone!…\” \”You hit me, scold me, and scream in my ear. What\’s your point?\” \”You\’re still lying to me, what do you want, mom!?\” \”I can\’t accept it! I\’m a little angry, and I won\’t even forgive you!…\” \”You\’re still hitting me when I\’m six years old, you\’re going to hit me How old are you until…\” Should you spank your children? Netizens said this! What a pitiful little girl! Unexpectedly, after watching the video, many netizens complained, saying that the child had made a mistake and it was useless to reason with him. He would remember it after a beating: Firmly support the faction @ I am a civet: Everyone has his own thoughts, It doesn\’t mean that if you reason with him, he will definitely listen to you. This is especially true for children. Their control is too poor. When they listen to you to reason, they really understand and listen to you, but they forget it when they play, because Your reasoning is not very impressive to him. He will forget about it when he is excited about playing. Only when it hurts when he is hit, and he thinks of the pain while playing, will he remember it! @ Tang Guo__single-eyelids: When my parents beat me when I was a child, I couldn’t understand why they beat me. Can’t you reason with me? I thought to myself that I would never do this when I have children in the future! It was only when I had children that I realized that reasoning is of no use, and I still have to fight! Beat men but not women.@微微伟麺: As a girl, I was beaten since I was a child and was taught not to cry. I have always had a rebellious mentality. Now I have become a female man and I will not cry or be beaten down by anything. My teeth are stuck in my stomach, my communication with my parents is almost non-existent, and I quarrel at every turn. I am determined not to hit girls in the future. Boys are too naughty. Think about it. @valentine\’s warm-hearted master: Girls can\’t be spanked, but boys really can\’t do it without spanking. My brother is too naughty in kindergarten. Can I reason with him? Forget it tomorrow. This happened many times. If the dog doesn\’t listen to you once, you\’ll be beaten. After you beat him, you can enlighten him again. Practice is better than theory@wildscientist: When my son was only one year old, I felt that I could never hit him. Once he started to learn to walk, he entered nightmare mode. None of the toys I bought could be played with for an hour or two and still remain intact. , I started crying and even lay on the ground. After being spanked a few times because I couldn’t help it, I now have clear memories of fear in many behaviors, especially in things where I was spanked. I can only say that most of the time you have to reason with him, and he will understand a small part of it. When it is too much, you must hit him, and hit him until it hurts. @撸撸 healthier: When I was a child, I also thought that I would never beat my son when he grows up. However, now that my son is 8 months old, I have begun to waver. He is really too naughty. He is only 8 months old. It’s hard to imagine that when I was 8 years old, I would not be as determined as I thought before, especially when I saw the sons of my cousins, I really wanted to beat up just by looking at them.Fortunately, there are still many parents who are against spanking their children: Firmly opposed @tgs: I have never been spanked since I was a child. My dad said that spanking is because words cannot solve the problem. Force is the last resort, but he has solved everything before force. As an adult, if your children don\’t even listen to you, then your education has failed. I think my dad is right. @ Cross your hands and cover the big za: When I was beaten by my parents when I was a child, I would have a distorted mentality and an urge to smash things. I would eat soft things but not hard ones, so I would cry silently without crying out. I left home several times. I ran away and wanted to commit suicide. Every time, my mother had to coax me afterwards and I would compromise. Everyone\’s personality is different, so you need to find the right education method and don\’t hit them easily. @李家SitingUncle: I had a problem with stealing things for a while when I was a child. After my mother found out, she didn’t beat me, but just asked me why I stole things. I said it was because the pocket money was too little. Later, my mother reasoned with me and gave me a little increase in pocket money. Then I changed it. Now that I have grown up, I still have very upright views. Hitting will only make the child hateful and fearful. Thank you to my mother for never hitting me. Parents who spank their children, let’s talk some sense into it! Although we have always opposed beating and scolding children, after reading the comments from netizens, there are still many parents who support \”spanking children\”. Fortunately, the child is still young, so even if he is beaten, he forgets it the next day and forgives the parents. But do parents understand the consequences? Physical Injury Spanking a child can easily cause physical damage to the child, such as slapping can cause nasal bleeding, tooth loss, and auditory nerve damage; spanking can cause kidney trauma due to subcutaneous congestion, and in severe cases can affect the spine through the sciatic nerve. Causes brain stem damage. Hitting other parts can also cause injuries such as fractures, bleeding, shock, etc. There are also some cases showing that spanking children can cause more serious consequences, such as injuring the spine, causing paralysis of the lower limbs, and even beating the child to death. And sometimes it is not because the spanking lasts long or the method is cruel, but because the child is very delicate and uses too much force. If you push and hit something hard, it may lead to tragedy. Psychological Damage: Hitting a child will destroy the close relationship between the child and his or her parents, and may also easily have adverse effects on the child\’s psychology: 1. Injury to the child\’s self-esteem. Hitting the child will seriously damage the child\’s self-esteem, and the pain is long-lasting and lasts for ten years. Years later, when I look back on the scene of my punishment as an adult, I still feel resentful. What is even more tragic is that many adults who were spanked as children still use spanking to control their children when taking care of them. This is the case for some netizens above. They were injured because of the beating, but the \”example\” of their parents has left a deep imprint on them. 2. Children will transfer their anger. Some children who are often beaten at home will become very angry. Sometimes they vent their anger by hitting and hurting others. For example, the child who makes them unhappy is likely to suffer. 3. Punishment that destroys the parent-child relationship will cause children to develop hostility and hatred towards their parents. Some children will do everything possible to avoid it, while others may find ways to retaliate, such as becoming rude and defiant, or refusing to try anything in protest. 4.It is easy for children to blindly obey their parents\’ rude behavior and make children accept other people\’s opinions uncritically. This will inhibit the development of children\’s minds and prevent them from thinking proactively. When children grow into teenagers, they will also obey peer pressure and do things that others think are \”cool\” without thinking, perhaps smoking, drinking, skipping classes, fighting, etc. 5. Inappropriate behaviors go \”underground\”. Spanking children often cannot really reduce impermissible behaviors. It may cause the following situations: ① When someone is in charge, the child behaves well; when no one is in charge, the child will return to his old behavior. . ②Children who restrain themselves out of fear of being spanked are likely to turn their behavior \”underground\” and become sneaky, hoping not to be caught. They may also become adept at lying and deceiving in order to get away with it. ③After being spanked, some children feel that they no longer need to feel guilty. Instead, they become no longer afraid, and even \”do bad things\” with peace of mind. How do you reason with your child when he makes a mistake? Just as the little girl in the video said: \”You hit me, scolded me, and screamed in my ear. How can you be reasonable?\” Don\’t think that if your child is young, you don\’t need to be reasonable. Young children are ignorant of many things. I don’t know. Parents should patiently help their children understand and be reasonable parents: Tip 1: Listen patiently. Most of the time, children “make trouble” and make mistakes because their psychological needs are not met, or even because of inappropriate parental behavior. caused by. Parents should listen patiently to their children, find the psychological needs hidden behind their behaviors, and meet these needs appropriately. Children who are fully listened to and understood, who feel the dignity and value of their own lives, will not use competing with their parents as a weapon. Tip 2: Communicate on an equal footing. Many times, when parents find their children’s behavior distasteful, it is not necessarily because the children have actually done something wrong, but because the parents have unrealistic expectations and requirements that the children cannot meet and want to pass. Beat and scold the child to make him obey you and establish dignity. In order for children to truly convince their parents, they should comply with their wishes, respect their lives, and communicate with them equally. Tip 3: Allow to make mistakes Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, let alone children. Once parents notice signs of a child making a mistake, they hit or scold them, hoping to nip the mistake in the cradle, but the child\’s chance to try is also eliminated. Parents should give their children enough space to make mistakes so that they can learn from them and ensure that they will not make the same mistakes next time. Of course, if a child\’s behavior endangers the safety of himself or others, parents should stop it immediately. Tip 4: Have patient conversations. Parents should communicate frequently with their children, find their topics and interests, and understand their children’s psychological needs. When a child fails and needs comfort, tell the child that you eventually have some advantages that others are not as good as, so as long as you discover your own strengths, your child will be the best version of himself. The physical pain will slowly disappear, but the mental pain may follow the child for a lifetime! The younger the child, the more reasonable he or she must be. Don’t regard “spanking” as a guideline for teaching children. Give them independent space and freedom, full trust and appreciation, and let them try, learn, and learn on their own.Feel and grow up healthily and happily!