I am so patient with my children, do you know where that comes from?

There must be some people who think I\’m pretentious about raising children, but they just don\’t say it to my face, and I know that. Take the child who wants to be hugged as an example. When he was about two years old, he said, \”Mom, please hug me. I\’m so tired.\” I picked him up. Now four years old, sometimes he says: \”Mom, hug me, I\’m so tired.\” I still open my arms. When he said he was tired, I really believed him. I believed he was indeed tired and not just lying to let me hold him. When I was a child, I had a very deep impression. I don’t remember how old I was, maybe five years old, because I was four years older than my sister. At that time, she was held in my mother’s arms. The only clear detail is that I was walking beside my mother. I felt very tired and my calves were sore. I pulled my mother\’s clothes and walked in an alley near my home. I don’t remember exactly what happened next. Maybe it was because my mother plucked my hand off, so I sat on the floor and cried. After I finished crying, I walked home by myself. Nearly thirty years have passed since this incident, and I still clearly remember the feeling – desolate, full of desperation. I can\’t forget that feeling and I don\’t want my children to have to go through it again. So, now, facing my own children, I choose to believe him. Once I open my arms, he won\’t stay in my arms for too long. What he cares about is whether his mother will open her arms, not that he really wants to hang on to her and be lazy. I can\’t blame my mother. She was holding a toddler who was babbling and learning words in her arms. She was already walking heavily. She couldn\’t care less about another child who was already a big child in the eyes of everyone and was still trying to cry. She is already a good enough mother in that environment. If it were any other mother, in this case, a child like me would have to be beaten as an \”education\”, otherwise in the future Can also \”do\”. When I was a child, I always heard adults say: \”Children are still happy.\” In the eyes of adults, it seems that children just eat, drink and have fun, without any worries. When I was young, I didn\’t think so. I knew clearly what the disadvantages of children were. No one wants to take the time to know what the child\’s wishes are, and no one wants to listen to the child\’s thoughts on one thing. The adults dismiss the children with \”Aren\’t all children like this?\” and cover up their lack of care for the children. . Because you are a child, any adult can accuse you and even claim to be \”educating\” you. Because you are a child and you cannot interfere in adult matters. What insights can a child have? Because you are a child, you have no choice or opportunity to try many things. Adults tell you what is right as a person who has experienced it, and you just have to follow it. In the eyes of many people, a child\’s \”smallness\” is equivalent to being stupid, having to be good, being incapable, and being subordinate to adults. It is also equivalent to being naughty, sneaky, selfish, and full of malice. Actually, no, only those who are willing to lean down and listen to children and understand children know that children mean kindness, innocence, and cuteness. Children are the purest and most spiritual creatures in the world. However, after being hurt again and again, Only then did he become the so-called \”bad, stupid, stupid\” person. How many mothers think that their children are notIt\’s selfish to want younger siblings, but little does anyone know that the child doesn\’t want his mother\’s belly to be scratched again. He thought that the reason the child didn\’t throw himself into his arms after a long separation was because he hated his mother, but little did he know that he was nervous and at a loss. I thought that the child was simply causing trouble by rummaging through boxes and cabinets at home, but little did he know that he was just looking at his mother’s hard work and wanted to do something for her… In life, many such tearful moments happen, and all it takes is an adult to patiently ask and give the child an explanation. Opportunity. When I was in the fourth grade of elementary school, the school held a charity donation event for a child who had lost his legs. Every student went home to their parents to ask for money to donate. In rural areas at that time, children in my family did not have a pocket money of 10 cents or 20 cents during the holidays. However, my mother gave me 50 cents. I felt that the child was so pitiful that I couldn\’t express my sympathy without giving everything I had, so I took out the two cents I usually saved and handed them to the teacher together. However, what I got was a blank look and a scolding from the teacher. He thought it was either five cents or one yuan. What happened to seven cents? My mother must have given me a dollar, and I secretly spent three cents. Look, an adult would rather believe that a child who is already in fourth grade is an unsympathetic fool who does not even have the intelligence to play tricks, rather than ask more questions and give the child a chance to defend himself. I think that even if he gave me a chance to defend himself, he would think it was a continuation of lies. Even if he believed me, he would not apologize to me for wronging me. In that era, did adults apologize to children? Are you kidding me? Because I knew very early on that \”being a child\” meant being treated unequally, not being heard, and not being free, I had almost no nostalgia for my childhood. In adolescence, I was more resistant, and I was very stubborn and stubborn. My typical argument at that time was: \”You said sugar is sweet, but I didn\’t eat it. How do I know what sweetness is? You said I won\’t look back until I hit the south wall. Maybe I broke through it head-on. Outside the wall is What about another scene?\” Sometimes we resist for the sake of resistance, and we are stubborn for the sake of being stubborn. In fact, our thinking is a bit \”left\”. But it may not be an explosion of emotions that have been suppressed since childhood. Precisely because I have never forgotten the feeling of being misunderstood, despised, picked on, or even insulted, I swore long ago that when I have children, I will not be like that. Therefore, after Baoduo was born, it was actually inevitable that I became a full-time mother. So, now, whether he insists on wearing rain boots when going out on a sunny day, or refuses to hold an umbrella on a rainy day, I will never stop him, whether he has said five \”buts\” before saying the second half, or insists Even if he holds the key and opens the door for me and it hasn\’t been opened for ten minutes, I won\’t rush him. All my patience, respect and non-foolishness towards him are actually compensation for my own childhood. Rather than saying that I am paying for my children, it is better to say that I have completed my own redemption while raising my children. We were all children once, and each of us has more or less shadows or scars from childhood in our hearts. Thank God for giving us children, because in the process of raising children, we can re-recognize ourselves and give birth to children.Courage, heal the scars, and grow up again with your children.