• Wed. Feb 21st, 2024

I have deep regrets for breastfeeding…

A mother left a message for me: OK Mom, do you think I am crazy? Two days ago, I took my child out to chat with a mother, and I heard her say that she had too much milk. I didn’t even know her, so I asked her for her contact information, hoping that she would give me her breast milk so that I could give it to my baby, because my milk supply was too little… But all my family members objected, saying that you don’t even know that mother. How can you feed your child whatever he wants if his physical condition is such? Yes, I also feel that I have gone too far for breast milk, but do I really not want to give my child milk powder? What do you think I should do? When I saw such a message, I seemed to see myself more than two years ago. I immediately called her back and shared my story. It was an experience that I didn’t intend to mention again… Before giving birth, I always thought that I will be the kind of responsible and good mother defined in the book. For example, I need to take good care of myself before having a baby, I need to stay in a good mood as much as possible when I\’m pregnant, I must choose a natural birth when I give birth, and I need to breastfeed exclusively after giving birth… But in fact, I didn\’t do any of that. For me, who is used to doing my best in everything, it was really hard. But life is like this, full of variables and sometimes cruel. I had been married to my husband for five years, but couldn\’t resist the urging of my family and had a child. At that time, we were very busy with work and had no time to take good care of ourselves, so we got pregnant. When I was pregnant, I suddenly encountered an accident, and I had no sleep day and night, almost I collapsed, no matter how I controlled it, I couldn\’t bring a good mood to the baby in my belly, and he and I were under unexpected pressure; when I gave birth, the doctor said that your pelvic condition was very good and suitable for normal delivery, but Unexpectedly, after two days and one night, I was asked to have a caesarean section after reaching eight fingers; \”Mom, take the baby over quickly, and make sure to let him suck more!\” I love him, and since the previous steps have not been done, Then I will at least achieve full breast milk. Two crucian carp soup, Tongcao pork ribs soup, soybean and pig\’s trotters soup…all the foods that are good for milk production are eaten, but they don\’t seem to be of much use. In just one month, the milk did not increase, but the weight increased from 108 pounds to 115 pounds after giving birth. I asked people who had experienced this, searched Baidu, read parenting books, and called the breastfeeding hotline. Whenever I had time, I collected and researched experiences in breastfeeding. \”You should rest. If you don\’t sleep, you\’ll be less able to produce milk.\” My mother was trying to persuade me from the side, but how could I listen? At that time, I was so anxious that I couldn\’t sleep at all. \”Let the baby suck more, and there will always be a hanging feeding.\” The \”Breastfeeding Base Camp\” I accidentally discovered became my biggest spiritual support. There are posts similar to \”I finally succeeded in chasing milk after one month\” for myself. It not only brings confidence but also reminds me constantly that the reason why we have not achieved full breast milk is because we are not doing well enough. (Later I learned that nothing is absolute in the world, and there are some people who cannot achieve full breast milk no matter what.) A mother who was breastfeeding said that a certain manual breast pump promoted milk production better than an electric breast pump, and she quickly told her husband to buy it. I tried that model, but there was no improvement; I saw that my classmates invited lactation specialists in their friends circle, which would help with milk production, so I immediately called to invite them, but the effect was not great; I was afraid that the baby would not suck the nipple after feeding milk powder, and Easily confused with nipples, unable to give birth to a babyBao added milk powder (at that time, milk powder was no different from poison in my eyes)… The feeling of powerlessness that you can\’t do it without working hard makes people sink into the quagmire! \”You know, little Weiwei (the girl next door) has so much milk that the whole family uses it to wash their faces and feet.\” When my mother said this, I felt very sad when I looked at my skinny son. I weighed 7 kilograms, but after the full moon, I only gained 2 kilograms. The doctor said that it was because he didn\’t eat enough every day! ! No wonder he slept so restlessly, and I also blamed him for being naughty. I love him, but I can’t even provide him with food and clothing. 3. \”I didn\’t have much milk at that time, and I had to work, so I was under a lot of pressure. He ran out of milk when he was a month old!\” My mother-in-law said that I was even more pitiful than my husband when he was a child. Milk powder was very scarce at that time and it was difficult to make milk. After feeding him in a daze and haphazardly, his height and brain developed quite well. \”Don\’t be so hard on yourself, the milk powder nowadays is very nutritious.\” Fortunately, my mother-in-law had a similar experience, and the invisible pressure around her was not too great. But once a person is trapped in that endless loop, comfort is just comfort, and everything is gone. Only when you understand it and accept it happily can you open your heart. On the day when the baby turned 42 days old, I held him for a physical examination. The first thing the doctor said was, why are you raising him? So thin that my bones are sticking out. \”The little guy must be hungry.\” I broke down and cried instantly, probably because I had seen too much, and she suddenly understood, \”It\’s right to breastfeed, because I hope the baby will have better nutrition, but no matter what, it won\’t work. Don\’t let him go hungry. Eating well is the basis (yes, no wonder he didn\’t need to change his diaper for a long time, but he didn\’t even eat it). The second thing is to choose better. Milk powder is not bad. Breast milk is not enough. You still need to add more milk every now and then. If your baby doesn’t eat enough, he will not be able to sleep well, which will affect his growth and head length.” The doctor’s words woke me up, but such a simple truth made my mind full of “must achieve full breast milk” at that time. It\’s totally unexpected for me. After Si\’s collapse, I finally figured it out: without enough food, everything is in vain. Finally, I put down my cell phone and stopped browsing various webpages for milk production, and closed the book and stopped thinking randomly. I relaxed and had more milk, but of course it was still not enough. I started to dare to add milk powder to my son. After watching the little guy sleep super soundly and peacefully after drinking it, I really felt that I was too stupid for a time. Fortunately, it was not too late, and soon his weight was back on track. Moreover, the nipple confusion that I was worried about before did not appear. He was very considerate to me. Even though it was much more tiring than drinking milk powder, he still sucked my vagina vigorously. Being sensitive, I think he is really sensible! After persisting for 6 months, I stopped breastfeeding. If I couldn\’t do it anymore, I wouldn\’t force it anymore. Even though I went to my friend\’s house later and saw her milk in the freezer, I still felt envious. If I heard a mother complain about the trouble of having too much milk, I would still feel a little unhappy. \”…Now, when I think about this experience again after more than two years, the pain still exists, not because I did not achieve full breast milk, but because I feel it is a pity: because of my \”extremism\”, I delayed my son\’s important first life. months of growth. I love him, but it takes him a long way to grow upIt is destined to leave regrets. So, dear mothers, don’t be too demanding if you can get full breast milk. I remember that once during an interview, Hawick Lau was asked whether Yang Mi would breastfeed after giving birth. His answer was this: Let nature take its course, it’s okay. I grew up drinking milk powder and it was fine. Yes, we love him/her very much. Babies are very smart. They understand and understand that it is enough that you have tried your best. Text | OK Mom

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