Once, I took my classmate Zhe to a tea restaurant for dinner. Sitting at the table next to me were a family of five: grandparents, parents, and a baby about 3 years old. It can be heard from their conversation that everyone is celebrating grandma\’s 60th birthday. During the Mid-Autumn Festival, there are a lot of people dining out. Restaurants that usually have good service have slower service and less attentive service. Probably because a certain dish had not been served for a long time, my father impatiently called the waiter several times, but no one came. Then he stood up directly, angrily walked to the waiter who was serving others in the distance and yelled: \”Ear!\” Are you deaf? No matter how many times I call you, no one pays attention. Are you doing catering, or are you trying to make trouble for us gods?\” That loud voice was extremely harsh in the quiet restaurant. Many people stopped eating to look at the father. The father did not stop blaming: \”If the last dish can\’t be served within five minutes, the whole table won\’t ask me to pay…\” The waiter kept apologizing, and the little girl in her early twenties shed tears, but the father still refused. He refused to forgive me until the manager on duty came forward to apologize and promised 20% off the entire order, and the last dish was free of charge. Before returning to his seat, Dad continued to complain and made the dishes and chopsticks jingle. The old man tried to persuade him to calm down but refused to listen. In the end, the child was so frightened that he cried loudly: \”I don\’t want dad, I don\’t want to eat, I want to go home…\” This father completely forgot about the purpose of eating. If he takes the overall situation into consideration and knows how to control his emotions, if the food is served too slowly or his mother\’s birthday, he will choose the latter without hesitation. After all, the old man only has one 60th birthday. If this harmonious atmosphere is destroyed, the warm moment will be lost. Most importantly, how big of a psychological shadow will the child feel when he sees his father losing control in public? One day when she grows up and encounters a similar thing, what kind of image will appear in her mind to deal with it? An author once told me something. He lives in rural Gansu and went to the university to report for the first time. In order to save travel expenses, his parents did not accompany him. He didn\’t know how to apply for a card at the time, so his mother sewed six to seven thousand tuition and living expenses into his pants pocket. Someone advised him to buy a sleeper berth, which was safer. He was afraid of wasting money, so he bought a hard seat. As a result, the thief knew that there were many freshmen going to the university to report at that time, and most of them carried thousands of eight hundred dollars in cash, and they specially picked those in remote areas. Train crime. In the end, the author\’s trouser pockets were opened and all the tuition fees were stolen. The author told me: \”I was already thinking about committing suicide. Why didn\’t I listen to others and choose a sleeper berth? I saved more than a hundred yuan, but I lost my parents\’ hard-earned money for two years.\” This divorce rate In an increasingly sophisticated era, many estranged couples use their children as bargaining chips to punish each other, some break up and curse each other in front of their children, some slander each other in front of their children… they fight over and over again, Having a free tongue hurts myself and the beauty of the past; it also hurts the children, allowing the children to see the abuse and abuse between their dearest parents. A reader who had a peaceful divorce told me about his experience of a peaceful divorce after adding me on WeChat. She said: \”We divorced because he had a third party. It is impossible not to have resentment, but we both know how much we love our children, and the divorce is alsoThe main thing is that the children are not harmed. If you can\’t continue to love each other, forgive each other for the past hurts. For the common goal of healthy growth of children, we should once again become the best single mother or father for our children. In this way, children know that mom and dad can love each other in a different way, and they will have more beautiful expectations for love or marriage in the future. \” Yesterday I went back to my hometown and met my old friend Y. When I talked to her about children, she said something: \”The pattern of children is more about the overall situation of thinking that we pass on to them. \”She told me about her experience of taking the postgraduate entrance examination. At that time, she first applied to a college in Beijing, but was not admitted. She then accepted a transfer to a corresponding major at a university in Chengdu. Y and her father were not familiar with each other in Beijing. Originally, she wanted to take the bus to the West Railway Station to buy a ticket, but her father said, “We’ll take a taxi, time is of the essence. After getting into the taxi, my father asked: \”When will the fastest train from Beijing to Chengdu arrive?\” Y calculated the time and answered truthfully. The fastest time to take a train to Chengdu is the day after tomorrow. After hearing this, his father said directly: \”We need to go to the airport now and try to see the tutor today.\” \”Without waiting for Y to speak, he directly told the driver to go to the airport. Then he called his relatives in Beijing and asked him to borrow 10,000 yuan and ask him to send him to the airport because the child was going to Chengdu for an interview. Y was shocked and was convinced The father of a lifelong farmer would ride a bicycle for an hour in order to save the 4 yuan for a ticket to the county town. In order to support his two children in school, he would not go to the market until noon to buy groceries… And this was his first time in Beijing. In order to let her daughter get a chance one day earlier, she decided immediately to go by plane. That time, the air ticket alone cost more than 5,000. Seeing her father hand over the thick wad of money, Y was so distressed that she even cried – that time But the income of his parents from farming for half a year! But it was his father\’s decision that gave Y a head start in the adjustment and became the tutor\’s last student that year. On the hard seat of the train home, his father said: Let Y remember this for a lifetime: “Dad is economical, but he knows when to save and when not to save. For example, if you go to the city to sell fresh corn, if your father goes ten days earlier, you can sell a piece of corn for 50 cents more than others. The same is true when you go to school. We spend thousands more to fly, which is very distressing about the money, but you The earlier you get in touch with teachers, the more opportunities there will be; maybe just because we have gained one more day than others, you will be able to study for graduate school a year earlier, graduate a year earlier, and work a year earlier…\” My father said a bit verbosely, but Y remembered the core sentence and its extended meaning: know when to save and when not to save; know what is most important, such as time and opportunity, and what can be gritted and discarded, such as money and face. . At any time, picking up sesame seeds and losing watermelons is the most uneconomical transaction. Taking the overall situation into consideration and learning to make choices, children\’s life path will go further, wider, and with more stamina.