• Wed. Feb 21st, 2024

\”I\’m going to beat you to death!\” The child started to say harsh words? Don\’t panic, this is because…

As a young Star Wars fan, my son and his friends each have a lightsaber. When they \”competition\” with swordsmanship, they often automatically add lines: \”Don\’t run, I\’m going to chop your head off!\” \”Come on, come on, I\’m going to make a hole in your body!\” \”I\’m going to chop you into several pieces and beat you into a pulp!\” Each sentence was more cruel than the other, and the adults were frightened. They didn\’t take it seriously at all, and competed with each other to see who could say the more frightening and terrifying words. In addition to friends, children will also say such \”cruel words\” to their parents and other relatives. Sometimes when I get anxious, I will say to my parents, \”I\’m going to beat you to death!\” or \”Mom is a big idiot!\”, which makes me angry and heartbroken every time. What\’s wrong with this child? Isn\’t this a typical white-eyed wolf? What is the Curse Sensitive Period? In fact, if a child behaves like this, it means that he has entered the \”curse sensitive period\” defined by Montessori. The \”curse sensitive period\” generally begins when a child is around 3 years old and is a special manifestation of the \”language sensitive period\”. When children begin to learn and use language crazily, they will be particularly fond of all kinds of \”dirty words\” and \”cruel words.\” For example, they can \”pee and poop\” at any time. Children in the Internet age will also follow the latest Internet buzzwords. I personally heard the neighbor\’s child blurt out: \”I\’m so confused.\” I tried my best to suppress my surprise and pretended that I didn\’t hear it, because my son was right next to him. Why do children like to say these dirty words and harsh words? The main reason is that they get the amazing power of these languages. Compared with ordinary words, these words can attract everyone\’s attention and stimulate a strong reaction from the listeners, thus giving them the illusion that \”they are so awesome\”. Of course, their behavior is not innate, but is formed through \”acquired learning\”. Never judge a child\’s nature based on a few swear words or harsh words. At first, they may overhear adults or friends saying the same or similar words and repeat them just out of curiosity. We often see that when children first start to say swearing or harsh words, they smile and treat it completely as a game. When adults become furious and criticize and punish them angrily, they realize the destructive power of swearing or harsh words, and they are smart and slowly learn to use them as weapons to attack others. How to Help Children Get Through the Curse Sensitive Period Therefore, the key to helping children get through the \”curse sensitive period\” smoothly is to interfere with and destroy the above \”learning\” process. First, create a language environment free of swearing and harsh words. Children do not create bad words and cruel words without any basis. They learn them by imitating others. The friend I mentioned earlier about my son knows a lot of Internet buzzwords. When I chatted with his parents, I found that they often use these slangs, so it’s no wonder where their son learned them. Parents’ words and deeds are “good examples” for their children to learn from. For a period of time, I felt overwhelmed by some problems at work, and from time to time I would accidentally say, \”I\’m so annoyed!\” One day, my son and my grandma were talking.The grandma was arguing about whether to wear an extra piece of clothing. After a few rounds, the son yelled impatiently: \”Grandma is so annoying!\” From then on, he never said that sentence again. Therefore, creating a healthy and harmonious language environment is the primary method. If you put an end to swearing and cruel words at the source, children will naturally be unable to imitate them. As parents, we must first examine and restrain our own language and behavior. If there is a person in the family who likes to use harsh words and swear, it will be difficult to eliminate this kind of behavior in children. Secondly, consciously isolate the child from the external environment where swearing and harsh words exist, such as reducing the number of contacts with friends who love swearing and harsh words. However, we all understand that complete isolation is impossible. Children will always hear bad words of one kind or another, and then learn it naturally. Even so, we should not be anxious, and should not criticize or punish in a rage. The stronger our reaction, the more quickly children will realize the lethality of swearing and harsh words. Secondly, what we have to do is, don’t be nervous, be calm, and be calm again. When the famous behaviorist psychologist Skinner studied how to modify people\’s behavior, he proposed the \”extinction\” method that is very suitable for correcting children\’s behavior. When a child first starts to say some swear words or harsh words, we must try our best to ignore and ignore them; after many times, the child will stop saying these \”ineffective\” words because they are boring and boring. If his friend says the word \”stupid\” and I stop him immediately, I guess my son will immediately discover the power of this word and learn it quickly. But I didn\’t make any reaction. He just listened to it once and forgot about it without any impression. But if the child has repeatedly \”peeed and peed\” and often said harsh words, we need other methods besides calmness and calmness. For example, help children realize the harm caused by swearing and harsh words to others. After my son yelled \”Mom is a big idiot!\”, I told him clearly: \”Mom is not an idiot at all. You know, mom has a doctorate and is a teacher. She knows a lot of knowledge. She will read a lot of books to you. Listen, I will cook a lot of delicious food for you and play Lego with you. How can I be an idiot?\” \”You said this to my mother, and my mother is very sad and sad.\” \”Think about it, if I said this You, are you also sad?\” Later, my son never said this to me again, nor to anyone else. When we let our children know how to understand other people\’s feelings and arouse their empathy, they may no longer say those dirty or harsh words. For example, help children find other channels to vent their emotions. When a child consciously says some dirty or cruel words and deliberately slanders others, it is often because he cannot find a better way or channel to vent his emotions. The neighbor\’s child, who was originally well-behaved and sensible, had a drastic change in temperament after having his second sister. He often loses his temper at home. Once, he yelled at his sister: \”It\’s all her fault. I\’m in such a miserable state now. I\’ll just throw her to death!\” The family members were stunned and scolded him. In fact, he didn\’t really want to hurt his sister that much. It was just that he couldn\’t adapt to the change in his parents\’ attitude and the decrease in care, and he felt sad.I didn\’t know how to vent my emotions, so I said such excessive words out of desperation. Children are still young and do not know how to relieve their emotions, especially unhappy and angry emotions. Sometimes they will vent their sadness and anger by swearing and harsh words. We need to deeply understand the child\’s inner thoughts, encourage him to express his feelings, and help him find a better way to vent. For example, have fun exercising, playing, etc. All in all, the curse sensitive period is just a stage of children\’s language learning. We don\’t need to be nervous or worried. We should face it calmly and prescribe appropriate medicine to help them pass this period smoothly.

By admin

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