Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are divorced. Although I am a Friends fan and a Rachel fan, I still tried to remain rational and restrained about this matter. I just sang a little tune for a day and sent a red envelope in the company group. Forgive me for being naughty. Well, personal emotions aside, I am still very concerned about the reasons for their divorce. It wasn\’t that they got together less and separated more, or that their personalities didn\’t get along, but that they had serious differences in how to educate their children, which led to divorce. Foreign media said that Jolie requested custody of her six children, believing that Pitt smoked marijuana, may be an alcoholic, and had anger management problems, which would endanger the children. We Chinese always say, for the sake of our children, I will not divorce you. And Julie is, for the sake of the children, so I want to divorce you. I think this is good. We always think that divorce will hurt children. In fact, it is not the case. It is the problem parents who hurt children, and it has little to do with divorce. There are some couples who maintain the so-called integrity of their families, but in fact, there are not many couples who are like enemies every day, greeting each other\’s parents and cursing each other\’s whole family, thus bringing a strong psychological shadow to their children? On the contrary, in some single-parent families, even if the husband and wife are separated, they still give their children a lot of love and a lot of security, so that the children can grow up healthy and sunny. I know a very cheerful child. His name is Tony, and he is Wei Tang\’s kindergarten classmate. He has a round face, small eyes, and loves to smile. His smile looks a bit like the super cute Republic of China. When Wei Tang was 3 years old, there were activities in their kindergarten, and all the parents would go there. At that time, several children were playing games on the playground, and their mothers were accompanying them. Every child could not live without his mother. If his mother took a few steps away, she would cry and call for her. Tony was different. He was playing in the water alone and was very calm. Wei Tang went over and asked him, where is your mother. He pointed to a place farther away and said, my mother is on the phone. She said she will be back in 10 minutes. Then he continued to play happily. Later, his mother came over, and he played games with his mother. Both mother and son played crazy. At that time, I was still thinking that for such a secure child, his parents must be very loving. Because Wei Tang and Tony both like airplanes, our two families made an appointment to go to Zhuhai to watch the air show together. That time I chatted with Tony\’s mother and found out that she and Tony\’s father had divorced two years ago. Tony\’s mother said that her parents had a bad relationship when she was very young. Her father was a habitual cheater, and her mother was devastated and humiliated, but she was unwilling to divorce because she felt that the home she had worked so hard to build could not be given away to others in vain. So for many years, the situation in her family was that her father continued to cheat, and her mother continued to complain. She was caught between the two of them, in a dilemma, and all three of them were tortured. Her mother always said to her, \”Look, if it weren\’t for you, your father and I would have divorced a long time ago.\” The implication is that she has suffered so much and suffered so many grievances for the sake of her children. How great and tolerant she is. But to be honest, it has nothing to do with the child. You chose each other, you chose to get married, you chose to have children, it’s not your children who force you.of. Why should we forcefully blame the failure of marriage on our children? However, her mother said this often, which made her think that she was a wrong existence, which was extremely painful. She always felt that \”if she didn\’t have her, her mother might be happy.\” Therefore, she committed suicide when she was in middle school. . Later, after going to college, she went abroad, read a lot of books, and met many positive friends, and her mentality improved a lot. Therefore, she does not want to follow her mother\’s old path. When she got married, she found out that her husband had cheated on her. After she had a showdown with her husband, she realized that this was not the first time that he had cheated on her. She decided to divorce without hesitation. Even if the child is only over 1 year old. At that time, her mother advised her, \”What man doesn\’t do random things? Just turn a blind eye and live a happy life for the sake of the child. Who doesn\’t live like this?\” She wanted to say, I just can\’t make do with it for the sake of my children. I don’t want to be like you and spend my whole life with a scumbag. Her mother was heartbroken and said, your husband is now the co-pilot and makes a lot of money. When he becomes the captain, I heard that his annual salary will be millions. Once you get divorced, you will be at an advantage to others! She got angry after hearing this and said, no matter how much money he makes, a man who cheats on her repeatedly is worthless in my opinion. Whoever likes to take advantage of this can take advantage of it. Her mother threw out another sentence that is most commonly used by Chinese people, \”Look at the child, can you bear it? He has no father at such a young age.\” She couldn\’t agree even more, why did the child not have a father? His father is not dead. If this father loves his children, he will still love them after divorce. If he doesn\’t love his children and doesn\’t want a divorce, he will still be indifferent. That’s right. There are still very few invisible fathers in Chinese families who don’t care about their children. One thing, she didn\’t expose her mother. In fact, she has been refusing to divorce. Isn\’t it because she is not financially independent and mentally independent. She can\’t live alone after the divorce? She doesn\’t want this. She feels that those who say they cannot divorce because their children are still young are actually not because their children are still young and too fragile, but because they themselves are too fragile and their hearts are not strong enough. She thought about it carefully. What her children needed most was spiritual security and material satisfaction. If she could provide these two things, then she could afford the divorce. And she really did it. The first thing she did was to sort out her mood. Because she knows that for the children, the mother\’s emotions are the most important. The mother is the most important person to her child, her entire world, and the barometer of this world is on her face. What food to feed the child, what clothes to wear, and what early childhood education class to attend are not as important as the mother\’s good mood. She took a month\’s leave and sent the child to her sister\’s house. Then go on a trip and let yourself cry. Anyway, in a strange place, no one knows her, so it doesn\’t matter if she cries very much. After crying enough, come back, put on a smiling face, and greet the child. She didn\’t hide it from Tony, but told him calmly that it was definitely not Tony\’s fault that her parents were separated, and that no matter what happened, they would always love Tony. She never said a bad word about her husband. Instead, she told him that whenever his fatherSora will come and play with him to reassure him. Then, she went to greet her mother and all her relatives. What she said back then was similar to the moral kidnapping of \”Look at how much your mother has suffered for you. In the future, you have to stand up for yourself and be filial to your mother.\” If so, you must not tell Tony. Let alone say, \”Your father doesn\’t want you anymore, you are so pitiful.\” She doesn\’t want her children to feel that they are abnormal or guilty of original sin. Tony is indeed lively and sunny. When chatting with the children, Tony can talk about his father calmly. He said, my father is the captain. Wei Tang and the others were so envious. Tony\’s mother would also talk to Tony about love topics like adults. For example, when Tony asked what Valentine\’s Day was, she said that it is a day to confess your love to the person you like. Tony asked, can I confess my love to Yolanda? His mother said, of course, can I accompany you to make her chocolate cookies? She would also tell Tony that she had met some new boys and thought they were pretty good, and ask Tony what he thought of them. She wants her children to believe in love. On May Day this year, I took Wei Tang back to Shenzhen to meet his friends, and also had dinner with Tony and his mother. Tony told Wei Tang that my mother had a boyfriend who was a policeman, super cool, and had a gun. I will protect my mother with him from now on. very nice. I really hope more girls can be like Tony\’s mother, gentle yet firm, brave and sensible. Many times, we magnify the impact of divorce and think that divorce will mean the sky is falling for our children. In fact, it is the attitude of adults that affects children. If you can afford to take it up and let it go, let it go in time when you meet the wrong person, and minimize the damage of divorce, then the sky will not fall for your child because you are here. You will always love him and accompany him to grow up. I know that the Chinese culture is to encourage peace but not separation. But, with all due respect, marriage should be slow and divorce should be quick. If a couple has a bad relationship, don\’t use children as an excuse. What many children from families with constant quarrels want to say to their parents is actually: Mom and Dad, for my sake, please divorce as soon as possible.
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