It is very important to give your children a sense of happiness!

When I first came to Beijing, I met the author M, who was discussing marriage, and we got along very well. Suddenly one day, M said that she might not be able to get married. I asked why, and she said that neither her boyfriend nor her prospective parents-in-law wanted to hold a wedding because it was too much trouble. She thought it would be better for the two of us to go on a trip because of the extravagance and waste of money. I have to break up because of a wedding. Is the root cause not enough love? M explained: \”It seems that it is just because of a wedding, but it involves huge differences in outlook on life and values. For example, I like to go to the cinema to watch movies, but my boyfriend thinks it is good to watch them on the computer at home; for example, I must use black tea to drink No matter what kind of tea he drinks, he always brews it in his own thermos cup; for example, during the Chinese New Year in my hometown, I would get up early on the first day of the new year and go to the elders’ homes to pay New Year greetings, but my boyfriend thinks this is a feudal bad habit… All of my His respect for life was just a pretense in his eyes, including weddings. But I only get married once in my life, so what’s wrong with me preparing for it with all my heart?” At that time, I wasn’t as particular about the details of life as I am now, so I can\’t sympathize with her persistence. Now, ten years later, I sincerely applaud what she said: holding flowers in hand, announcing \”I\’m getting married\” in front of family and friends, what a beautiful thing it is! Such romance and solemnity, such state of mind and devotion, if you miss it, it will last a lifetime. The worldly life of daily necessities and daily necessities is mostly one day followed by the next, over and over again, without much ups and downs. We need a certain sense of ritual to make daily life different. This feeling is like food is not only for eating, but can also be made to look beautiful, pleasing the body and mind, and satisfying the taste buds; clothes are not only used to hide shame, but also reflect the curvaceousness of women and the masculinity of men; The wedding is not for others to see. It entrusts the girl\’s princess dream and shows a girl\’s determination to face the future with you: From now on, I will bid farewell to the pampering of my original family and am willing to be happy and endure hardships with you; Laughing together, crying together… M, who was determined to break up, experienced the pain of love breakup for half a year, but finally found the one with whom she could go to teahouses to drink tea, go to movie theaters to watch blockbusters, go to churches to hold weddings, and to eat in tea restaurants. Dessert\’s true love. Last Thursday, I took classmate Zhe to the mini world to experience different role plays. Because he arrived early, he caught up with the first group of firefighters to simulate actual combat. Although he was relatively young among the children in the same group, he was very cooperative throughout the whole process after putting on the firefighter\’s uniform. When all the \”fires\” were put out, the children jumped up happily. Classmate Zhe said to me excitedly: \”Mom! Mom! I am a firefighter, look at me putting out all the fires!\” Doctor Experience Zhe The classmate was also very involved. When he came back that afternoon, he asked his grandfather to pretend to be in shock and performed cardiac compressions on him himself. On that day, student Zhe experienced five roles: firefighter, doctor, dentist, archaeologist and construction worker. A total of seven or eight children participated in the construction worker experience. The staff found it troublesome and did not give the children work clothes. As a result, during the entire process of demolishing walls and moving, the children’s sense of cooperation was very different from before, especially the younger children, who basically worked on their own.As a camp, there is no integration experience at all. A piece of work clothes can actually bring such great psychological implications to children: when they put on firefighter\’s clothes, they feel like firefighters; when they put on white coats, they feel like they have become white-clad emissaries who save lives and heal the wounded. ; When they put on the navy uniforms, they felt like they really became majestic sentinels… This piece of clothing gave them a sense of ritual, implying that they had bid farewell to their past roles, and from this moment on, they must play their current roles seriously. . On Sunday, I took classmate Zhe to visit Andersen’s Magical Land. Most of the children were wearing daily clothes. But there were two little girls of six or seven years old, dressed in costumes, who stood out among the bustling crowd. One of the little girls walked happily and asked her mother: \”Mom, am I a little princess today?\” The mother smiled and replied: \”Of course, you are your mother\’s princess every day!\” Of course, all daughters are mothers. The most beautiful princess in my heart, but when a child puts on a costume, the concept of a princess becomes clearer – children are more likely to give themselves strong psychological hints due to the sense of ritual, and then adjust their speech and behavior until they are most consistent with their identity at that time. With good harmony, concentration, reaction ability, and athletic ability can all be improved quickly. When classmate Zhe was one year old, we took him to the beach for the first time. To this day, he still vividly remembers his birthday with the sea breeze blowing and eating cake. Whether it\’s a child or an adult, being cared for and cared about will always make you happier. A former colleague had just bought a house and brought her mother to Beijing. She was not well off at the time, but in order to let her parents experience the buffet, she gritted her teeth and took them to eat Leopard. Four people ate more than a thousand yuan, which was my mother\’s income from working in the town for a month and a half. But the experience of that meal was the most luxurious dinner that my mother, who had never been out of the county town, had ever had, and that was enough. Many people think that the sense of ritual is too superficial and is for others to see – such a \”sense of ritual\” is just a formality, and the pursuit of external influence is far greater than the inner needs. All presentations are for the purpose of gaining approval and evaluation from others. Naturally, I feel tired. The true sense of ritual has always been centered on satisfying one\’s own inner needs, without the need for an audience, let alone others to praise and prove it. Xu Zhiyuan said in his book \”Strangers in the Motherland\”: We are a society that likes a sense of form but rarely has a sense of ritual. The sense of form requires you to be consistent with others, and you adjust yourself according to others, while the sense of ritual tries to awaken some sleeping emotions in your heart, and you adjust yourself spontaneously. Cultivating children\’s sense of ritual from an early age, or at least not destroying children\’s innate sense of ritual, will not only enhance children\’s ability to manage life, but will also help them thrive emotionally and career-wise. After all, if given the choice, no one would want to give up sophistication and choose roughness. If in the story at the beginning of the article, M\’s ex-boyfriend knew how to respect his girlfriend\’s pursuit of a sense of ritual, he might not have missed a relationship.