• Wed. Feb 21st, 2024

Mom and Dad, just give me a hug and I’ll be fine

When we have children, we will find that there is someone who is often eager to hug us. It goes beyond the hug of a lover and goes straight to the depths of our hearts. I remember the feeling I felt when my son was held in the hands of the nurse the night he was born: That is a life, he came because of me, and I have to love him! Love always needs to be learned, especially as a parent. How can it be something you are born with? Every time, I was cautious, fearing that my ignorance would harm the child. Looking at the little children, they are growing up every day with their stubborn persistence, angry shouts, sweet coquettishness, crying and laughing. You can\’t help but sigh: \”This kind of time is really magical and really short!\” Sometimes, when faced with a crying child, you feel anxious and at a loss. In fact, just hug him. Sometimes, when a child makes a mistake, his little face becomes tense. In fact, all you need to do is hug him. This is the best educational opportunity. When a child loses his temper, he is protecting his little self-esteem and looking forward to his parents\’ love. Every time a child makes a mistake, it is the best educational opportunity. When a child makes a mistake, do you give him a scolding or give him a loving education? Every parent must have the answer in mind. At this time, parents must calm down, squat down, and give their children a hug. Perhaps, the confrontation will disappear and love will melt the barriers. When your child is least cute, try giving him a hug! Nelson\’s book \”Positive Discipline\” mentions a story: A young father was deeply frustrated and troubled by his 4-year-old son\’s sudden tantrums. Rebuke and punishment only make it worse. This dad learned that a misbehaving child is a disappointed child and that encouragement is the best way to deal with bad behavior. From this dad\’s point of view, it seems a bit like rewarding bad behavior. However, he decided to give it a try. When his little one had another tantrum, the dad got down on one knee and yelled, \”I need a hug!\” The kid was stunned, sobbing and asked, \”What?\” Dad said. shouted again: \”I need a hug!\” His son stopped sobbing for a long time before asking in disbelief: \”Now?\” The father said: \”Yes, now!\” The son looked completely confused, but he stopped He started crying and said a little reluctantly: \”Okay.\” Then he stiffly gave his father a hug. Soon the stiffness disappeared and father and son melted into each other\’s arms. After a while, the father said: \”Thank you, this is exactly what I need.\” The son\’s lips trembled slightly and said: \”Me too.\” I have always believed in the power of encouragement and hugs. Every time the little fish makes his little smile When I have a bad temper, as long as it is not a matter of principle, I will squat down and pick him up. I remember when my child wakes up from a nap, sometimes he will be angry when he finds that I am not with him. Because every time I wait for him to fall asleep, I get up in the middle and do something of my own. Sometimes when I am busy, I hear the annoying crying next door, and I always want to get angry. But then I thought about it, my child needs me at this time. I would pick him up, carry him to my desk, sit on my knees, watch me typing, and hold himAfter a minute, I went to play by myself, and everything was fine. If I had criticized him, I would have been angry for an hour. He just needs a little bit of this kind of privilege and pampering, and we as parents can definitely give it to them. And when they grow up, they really won\’t express their attachment to you like this anymore. Parents\’ understanding and embrace have more educational effect than beating, scolding and suppression! A few days ago, a father said that his child ate his own bun because of his little sister. Even though the adult promised to buy a new one, the child was still angry and fussy. When the preaching failed, the father started yelling. We can all think of this scenario because it is so common. The result was even worse. The child was frightened, but the problem was still not solved. Too many parents in China always hope to make their children obedient by yelling. It is euphemistically called love and is for the good of the children, but in reality it is nakedly harmful every time. If parents try to use their parental authority to force their children to obey. Then this child is destined to become an obedient \”puppet\”. If you do everything according to your parents\’ arrangements, you will lose your own opinion. If the father can control his emotions, think from the child\’s perspective, give the child an understanding smile, give him a loving hug, and then divert his attention and talk about interesting things. This will avoid a parent-child conflict. In hospitals, squares, shopping malls, and playgrounds, we often see some children crying heartbrokenly, but parents still keep a straight face and must let the children admit their mistakes. So I often see parents walking in front and a child crying behind. I have done this before. I took my son to the zoo once and had a great time. But when he came back, he saw dinosaur toys in a roadside store, and he suddenly became confused. You have to buy it before leaving. I don’t know if it was because I was tired that day or for some other reason, but I was very angry and decided not to buy it. Then he cried, and I stood there watching him cry. The boss kept persuading, \”Buy it, buy it, it\’s not expensive, as long as your children like it.\” \”Just don\’t buy it, don\’t say it.\” The voice was loud. \”You\’re a dad, why are you like this?\” I held his hand and left. I still cried along the way. This is not okay, it\’s like a human trafficker. I was also at a loss, but in the end I suppressed my anger, squatted down and said to him: \”Dad, let\’s choose a better one for you. Let\’s go ahead and pick one.\” Later, I bought him a better Stegosaurus model. Now I regard it as a baby bump. Fortunately, I didn\’t scare him with yelling, coerce him, and turn him into a little puppet without a mind, opinion, or soul. Because later, I discovered \”love and rules\”. You must have love first before talking about rules. When children know that their parents love them, they will understand and support them. Then we can talk about the rules and set the rules. Love with rules will not spoil, and rules with love will not hurt. I accompanied my son from the age of 2 to about 4 years old, and watched him change from a child who was arrogant and demanding, to a child who was willing to discuss and abide by the rules. Since then, every time he saw a dinosaur toy in the store, he would go and check it out. He understands that if he really needs it, his father will buy it, but it is impossible to buy all the toys he wants home. And I also started to become mature, when the child had emotions again, I will control my emotions and cannot use emotions to suppress emotions. Instead, she squatted down, understood him, comforted her, hugged him, and diverted his attention. Let him feel my honest feelings, and this will gain his inner support. I found that I got better and my children got better too. Children can really make parents better. The arrival of a child makes our life like a rebirth and perfect. Our lives are always changing, but most of the time they overlap and repeat monotonously. There are only a few moments that truly change the course of our lives. Such as entering higher education, getting married, and getting your first job. But only being a parent can make a life begin to gain new meaning. It is not only the continuation of life, but also an extra mirror to reflect on oneself. It is a magical power that helps you grow and repair yourself. I went back to my hometown some time ago and saw that my cousin, who followed me around every day, became a father. I suddenly felt that he had become mature. He is no longer the little child in his mind, but a father. And he himself seemed more stable. Every life that works hard will work harder because of the arrival of a new life. Since having a child, my friends have changed. Becoming gentle, loving, and diligent, all the great men have become sentimental and more responsible. Children are like this. When we hold them, we are embracing our past and looking forward to a better future!

By admin

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