When I was going out last night, I met a mother hurriedly passing in front of me. Behind me was a 2-year-old child, who kept chasing after me and shouting, but seemed to be afraid to cry even if he wanted to. \”Mom, you can\’t let me go! Mom, wait for me.\” \”Don\’t follow me, I don\’t want you anymore.\” \”Mom, mom…\” She yelled at the top of her lungs while running and chasing after her. And what about mom? I saw that she was walking as fast as she could, with anger on her face. Such a familiar scene, such a familiar smell. I think many people have this experience. Just like some time ago, boxing champion Zou Shiming\’s wife educated her children, which evoked countless people\’s memories, \”It\’s so normal. This is how my mother taught me.\” The reason was that her son Xuanxuan mixed cake and water, so her mother He conducted \”ideological education\” on his son, using words such as: \”You are so naughty, get away from me, you are wasting food, get out of here!\” \”You got the money from your father with one punch after another!\” The whole process was shocking. Xuan has been trying to get close to his mother, please her, and beg her forgiveness in a low voice, but the response he received was: Get out of here! Even if this is true, we have been taught this by our parents since childhood. However, what do children think when their parents preach and hurt them so harshly? Many people will say that it doesn\’t matter if a child is vicious once or twice. The flaws do not hide the flaws. Mother\’s love is great and can dissolve these small injuries. Some people will tell you, \”You haven\’t seen it. The more aggressive he is, the more clingy he will be to you!\” Such a powerful logic, maybe this kind of existence only exists in the parent-child relationship. Whether it is friendship or family members, it stands to reason that if you are cruel to a person, he will only fight back against you or avoid you. But children are different. Instead, they try their best to get close to you and try every means to repair the relationship with you. They won\’t give up until they are sure that you love them. Finally, when the parents\’ anger subsides, the children will unconditionally forgive their parents and will not hold grudges. This is because children are naturally dependent on their parents and at the same time have a psychological need to build a sense of security. Children need their parents\’ love. To put it bluntly, the little life will realize that without its parents, the world will be terrible, and it will be at a loss. It may even feel that it cannot live without its parents, and fear and fear will fill its heart. When parents say \”Get out\” or \”I don\’t want you anymore.\” Such words will make the children feel like they are facing a powerful enemy and they will suddenly become cowed and submissive. So some parents take advantage of this to punish their children and achieve their own educational purposes. But the results are often unacceptable. A mother once left a message saying: I really regret that time I locked out my noisy and disobedient four-year-old son because I was angry. After that time, the child changed. He was able to sleep independently before, but now he no longer dares to sleep alone, and he has become more clingy to himself than before. Every time I see the look in his eyes that looks like he is afraid of being abandoned, I regret it extremely. The sense of security is lost and it’s really hard to get it back. So, don’t step into this minefield. As parents, we will occasionally make some small mistakes, out of emotional control, or out of some of our own character flaws, or even just a joke-loving personality. But the child will take it seriously. A few days ago, I took my son to play on my bicycle. After we were far away from home, he asked me very vigilantly, \”Dad, what are you doing?\”Do you know how to get home? \”Oops, I seem to have really forgotten.\” \”I wanted to see his reaction. He didn\’t say anything. He probably knew that I knew the way. Then I continued to joke: \”Why don\’t dad put you here and you can walk back by yourself. \”No, no,\” I felt scared all of a sudden. I quickly said no, dad was just testing to see if you knew if you would go back. So when I went to the supermarket to buy water and sat on the cushion, he hurriedly walked away from the road. Bian rushed over. \”Have you forgotten me?\” Do you want to leave me here? \”I looked at him a little surprised, and hurriedly knelt down and hugged him. \”Dad will never abandon you, never. Daddy will protect you, because you are my favorite baby. \”At this time, my little face was so happy that I got in the car and went home. I never dare to make such a joke again, let alone use this method to educate my children. So when I saw the angry mother and When a son chased after his two-year-old son, I felt uneasy inside. Because everyone who takes care of children knows that it is difficult to take care of children, and it is really difficult not to lose your temper. But in such a situation, the authorities are confused, but the bystanders know clearly. Children It\’s really pitiful and shouldn\’t be treated like this. If you make a mistake, you can calmly point out the mistake to the child, slap the palm of your hand when it\’s time to slap it, and put a little black star on it when it\’s time. In any case, educating children with emotions is the most useless And the most hurtful thing. Occasional loss of control may be easily smoothed out in the river of time, but a mother who is often controlled by bad emotions will hurt her children more than once or twice. Emotions are very strange. Just like darkness devouring light, darkness continues to become stronger. For example, it is like the \”inner demon\” written in martial arts movies. It will control a person\’s psyche. As long as a child makes a mistake, even if it is not a mistake, he will Get angry. The child may want you to buy some snacks because he is greedy, but you scold him, saying that he only knows how to buy, buy, buy, but doesn’t know how hard it is to make money. The child may not be able to control his own strength and accidentally overturn it. My friend, just scold him for always being so violent and causing trouble for himself. The child may find it funny and want to see what cake and water look like when mixed together, so you just scold him for wasting food and not knowing the hard work of his parents. Childhood A sense of security is the treasure of happiness in life. If you want your child to be truly happy, you must give him a warm and free childhood. Whether this sense of security is satisfied in childhood will determine the subconscious direction of happiness in the child\’s life, and is related to personality. The all-round development of children is also directly related to the formation of children\’s emotional intelligence. As parents, when feeding children\’s bodies well, they should also pay attention to their children\’s psychological needs. Don\’t shout the slogan of education under the banner of love, but in fact it is The child\’s character is nakedly hurt time and time again. This little heart needs to be understood, this little heart needs to be respected, this little heart needs to be cared for. Many times, we blame our children for being ignorant. , in fact, do you understand? Many times, parents blame their children for being timid and having a bad temper. This may not be because there is something wrong with the parents\’ parenting style. If the child\’s heart is not filled with love, but filled with the anger and contempt of the parents, What does he use to love others? A child is alwaysHis parents have abused him emotionally over and over again. He will regard emotions as a scourge. How can he control his emotions? Who can he learn to express his feelings correctly? The most terrifying thing is that while we talk about the pain points our parents taught us back then, we subconsciously repeat the mistakes our parents made back then. As your parents grow up, I send you four words of \”firmness and peace\”. Love is as firm as a rock and helps children build a sense of security. Only by having a peaceful mood can you raise a child with a happy and full heart.