\”My mother-in-law scolded me during confinement because of the caesarean section\”

\”On the third day after giving birth, my mother-in-law scolded me in front of the hospital bed that I was useless. Other women could give birth naturally, but I couldn\’t. I spent so much money in vain.\” This sentence popped up in the mother\’s group. This young mother told us about her birth experience. Because her pelvis was small, her labor pains lasted for two days. Her bones hurt as if they were about to explode, but her cervix was only opened by two fingers (ten fingers were needed for childbirth). She was on the verge of a mental breakdown. The doctor told her that there was too little amniotic fluid in her body and the fetus was at risk of hypoxia, so she needed to have a caesarean section. \”To be honest, I feel like I have been saved. Not to mention having a caesarean section, as long as there are no more labor pains, I am willing to die.\” She was willing, but her mother-in-law was not willing. She lowered her face and muttered to the side: \”We used to have children and didn\’t listen. Who wants the surgery…\” The husband looked at my mother\’s face and refused to sign. She just lay on the hospital bed helplessly, watching the group of people who were neither in pain nor in danger of life, arguing with the doctor emotionally. She noticed that besides constantly raising money, her mother-in-law also said: \”I heard that caesarean section can only give birth to two children, and it takes several years…\” \”At that moment, I really hated them. My situation was like this. It\’s dangerous, and she is still thinking about having a second child.\” Yes, before that, they secretly did a B-ultrasound, and it turned out that there was a girl in her belly. For a while, the news about an obstetrical nurse was widely circulated on the Internet, which made people’s blood boil and they clenched their fists to hit them. There are men who only play with their mobile phones and steal food while their wives are dying. Some family members insist on a normal delivery regardless of the high risk to the mother. What\’s more, when the child is born, the husband and her husband\’s family rush up to hug the child, and no one pays attention to the mother who has just returned from the hell gate. …Some netizens commented that it was too fake and questioned that it was just a story to earn traffic. But if you randomly try to enter a group of pregnant women, you will hear stories that are a hundred times more thrilling than these: there is a mother who is asked to have sex before the blood in her lower body is clean, and her husband holds her down and beats her if she does not agree; there is a mother-in-law who secretly greets the doctor. , in case of an accident, it is necessary to protect the child rather than the adults; someone gave birth to a girl, and as soon as she was discharged from the delivery room, her mother-in-law asked her to have a second child as soon as possible; someone had to wash her own clothes, cook and take care of her within a week after giving birth. The husband watching TV… She gave birth to a baby. It wasn\’t a cold, a fever, or gastroenteritis. It was just a rupture of the intestines, giving birth to a life. She narrowly escaped death to save her life, but some people still said shamelessly: \”What\’s wrong with giving birth? Everyone can give birth, why can\’t you?\” Childbirth is the loneliest, most difficult and most thrilling moment in most women\’s lives. . One of my teachers said that when she gave birth to her child, the stainless steel iron bars at the head of the hospital bed were bent out of shape due to the excessive pain. But even at such moments, there are still accusations and difficulties: it’s your fault that the labor took a long time, it’s your fault that you had a caesarean section, it’s your fault that the child inhaled amniotic fluid and meconium, and it’s even more your fault that you haven’t started breastfeeding for a long time after delivery. …I myself have given birth. After the persistent labor pains, the doctor told me that my amniotic fluid was grade three turbid and I needed to have a caesarean section. My head buzzed and then went blank. The muscles that had been tightened due to labor pain suddenly relaxed. It’s not that it doesn’t hurt, but that I was finally forced to accept it. Three days ofIn exchange for pain, this is the outcome. I was like a lamb waiting to be slaughtered, lying motionless on the hospital bed with no strength in my limbs, allowing the doctor to push me into the operating room. My mother ran after the hospital bed, wiping her tears and comforting me, but I couldn\’t say a word. To be precise, I didn\’t want to talk. It was too painful, too tired, and I was almost desperate. But it was such a thrill, and a male friend sent me \”You are so bad\” after learning that I did not give birth naturally. He will also be a father in the future. God bless his wife. Production is not only a gate to hell, but also a mirror looking into evil spirits. Who do you marry? Only when the child is born can you open your mouth to comment. No one is alarmist, no one is stirring up emotions. In fact, before I graduated from college, I could not have imagined that in this day and age, there are still many women who would face criticism even if they choose to have a caesarean section. But reality will always give naive people a hard blow. Especially after entering the marriage age, you will feel the society\’s malice towards women especially deeply. Why do girls work so hard? Why not find a good man to marry? A woman in her thirties will lose her value in a few years. What woman doesn’t do housework? If my family wants to continue the family lineage, we must have a boy. You are giving birth to a daughter, so hurry up and have a second child! …I once said in an article, “You die early in the morning.” This is true, but it seems wrong. We have been using it for so many years, but we still cannot change the label that many people have given to women – men\’s accessories and reproductive tools. They still cannot get the rights and respect they deserve in the family, and they do not even have the right to make independent choices about reproduction. I can neither decide when to give birth nor how many to give birth to. Even if we study a lot, even if we make a lot of money, as long as the uterus is still growing on our bodies, we will inevitably have to face the scars of childbirth, face the shape of our bodies, face the constraints of breastfeeding, and face discrimination from employers. , facing the pain of being deprived of freedom and autonomy by family and children… and what is even more frightening is: being born is just the beginning, nothing more.