Parents’ emotional peace is the greatest education for their children

Went for breakfast in the morning and just sat down. I heard a mother yelling at her child very loudly. \”Are you eating noodles or noodles?\” The child was timid and speechless. \”You\’re dumb! You\’re in a hurry.\” The child looked like he didn\’t know what to choose. Maybe he was stunned by the mother\’s scolding, and then he squeezed out a few words through his teeth. No one knows what was said. Children who have been scolded like this for a long time always lack self-confidence. A child would be blamed for such a small thing. I just thought that if the child breaks something in the house, the sky will be turned upside down! Looking at her little back, I couldn\’t help but feel sorry for this child. Parents\’ peaceful emotions are the greatest education for their children. From the child\’s perspective, parents\’ peaceful emotions do not mean that their children will be scolded less, nor does it mean that they will do whatever they want according to their children. Because parents are their children\’s emotional mentors. We reflect on our own lives. No school has an emotion class, and few teachers teach us the subject of emotion. Parents unknowingly assume this task during the actual upbringing process. This influence begins in infancy. When a mother plays with a 7-month-old child, she is always in a happy mood, a little curious and surprised. At this time, this positive emotion provides the child with an example of how to express positive emotions. I remember that when my son was a few months old, I would talk to him while he was lying in his stroller, show him some things, and perform performances for him, with exaggerated expressions and laughter. My mother and others told me that it was useless and the child had no reaction. But I kept expressing my excitement and joy in front of the child. Later, when he was five or six months old, the little guy bounced like a frog every day, always happy. In the first two months of life, the more smiling faces we give our children, the more likely they will show less negative expressions in the future. If children are exposed to a home environment where negative emotions are common, whether or not the emotions are directed at them, these children will display negative emotions that are difficult to mediate. For example, parents who often quarrel may not target their children, but in family wars, children are often the most harmed. They are at a loss what to do and are at a loss. Because they don\’t know why, they only see the anger, violence, and hurt between their parents. A few days ago, a 10-year-old child in a friend\’s neighborhood disappeared after school. The child\’s mother almost collapsed and called all her friends to help find her. Finally, luckily, I found the child sitting with his head down on a path near the school. \”Why don\’t you go home?\” The child shook his head and said lightly, \”I don\’t want to go back to that home.\” A friend said that he remembered that a few years ago, this child was a sunny and optimistic boy who often laughed and laughed. But when I see him in the past few years, he always looks worried. Friends who are familiar with their family\’s situation understand, because the child\’s mother has become a bitter friend in the circle, and everyone is full of deep sympathy and concern for her. The family was in trouble, and her husband was addicted to gambling. He owed huge gambling debts and was pursued by loan sharks. She earns more than 2,000 yuan from work every month to support her family and children. Her husband drinks drunk all day long, escaping from reality, and basically becomes a useless person. twoPeople had a lot of quarrels over this, and when it got serious, they started fighting in front of their children. Many friends advised her to divorce this scumbag husband. She couldn\’t bear it and was afraid that her child would be affected, so she never made a decision. But she couldn\’t bear it. Not only did she tell her friends about her experience, she also complained constantly to her children. How can a child understand the actions of its parents? It\’s more about accepting the information seen in one\’s own eyes – Mom and Dad no longer love each other. His father\’s negativity and his mother\’s complaints cut into his heart like two knives. Accepting your child\’s emotions is more important than anything else. True acceptance means being able to control one\’s own emotions, accepting and teaching children to adjust when they are negative or angry. Every time my son loses his temper and cries. The elders in the family were extremely anxious after hearing this, and would immediately go over to offer words of comfort. I would tell them every time, \”Let him cry for a while, and it will be fine after a good cry.\” The day before at noon, I accompanied him in coloring, because when I painted the owl eyes, I painted orange, but I casually said, \” Red eyes are more scary.\” My son immediately asked me to paint them red. But it cannot be changed. We all know there is no point crying over spilled milk. But the child is going to cry over this. In \”Little Doudou by the Window\”, in order to feed the baby chicken, Xiao Doudou vowed that she only wanted this gift. Although her parents told her that the baby chicken would die, she still fed it. Later, the chicken really died, and she cried for the death of the chicken. This is the child! We have to accept it. When my son cries, I let him cry, and let his dissatisfaction, grievances, or other negative emotions he feels pour out with his tears. After crying, it will be much better to talk to him and distract him. At this time, you can talk to your child about his feelings, or share your own experience of this problem. Emotional communication between parents and children can help children understand and adjust their emotions. When faced with crying children, many children do not listen even after their parents tell the truth. She felt that the child was being unreasonable and deliberately looking for trouble, so she violently suppressed the child\’s emotions. Suppressing children is a root cause of the problem. Rebellion in adolescence is often closely related to childhood experiences. Families where parents are attentive to growing up with their children have fewer problems during adolescence. There was no so-called adolescent rebellion, and many problems were resolved through communication. Psychological research has found that the reason why many teenagers are rebellious is their increased feelings of negative emotions. We often see children with the gloominess of adolescence, which is really a true representation of their hearts. At this stage, they have more conflicts with their parents, teachers and partners, and the pressure increases dramatically. Many children are classified as \”problem children\”, which is a labeling and irresponsible statement. It would be more appropriate to say that he is a \”difficult child\”. They just encountered difficulties while growing up and needed help from their parents. Some time ago, I went to a friend\’s house to play. A relative of the friend\’s house was holding a 2-year-old child at the friend\’s house. The little guy is very smart, but also very naughty. He wet his pants when he was too involved in playing. At this time, the child\’s grandmother changed his pants and spanked him at the same time.share. The child cried loudly. Later, we gave the child something to eat, but he didn\’t dare to take it. He said grandma would beat it. Friends said that this child was beaten almost every day, and scolding was a common occurrence. It can be seen that the child\’s grandmother loves him very much, but the old man has a bad temper. The emergence of \”difficult children\” often begins in infancy. In the critical first three years, many children will be restless and afraid to try. They often order adults at home, but are very timid outside. They will cause some destruction and be willful. If parents can always maintain a peaceful attitude and allow their children to slowly learn and understand the rules, there will be enough time for their children to learn and grow. The child will become outstanding and those so-called problems will disappear. If you encounter a parent who is moody, extremely irritable and impatient. An excellent child will be ruined. Because parents\’ punishment and irritability will only make these children more resistant to their parents. The result of this is that the parent-child relationship becomes increasingly tense. Don\’t always say that your child has problems. In fact, you yourself are the answer to the problem.