Please don\’t make fun of my child

It has long been guessed that Xiaobao\’s arrival will cause Dabao to suffer a lot of psychological discomfort, a large part of which will come from \”jokes\” that the outside world thinks are interesting. So before Xiaobao was born, we had given Dabao countless \”vaccination shots.\” However, practicing is one thing, and actually encountering it is another. One day, Dabao came home from school feeling very angry, as if he had been greatly wronged. After asking again and again, I learned that a friend’s mother said to him: “Your parents have a younger brother now and they don’t love you anymore.” Seeing the little guy’s resentful eyes, I had no choice but to bring up the topic and speak sincerely. Let’s say it again from the beginning: “No matter how many children parents have, everyone will love them very much!” “My brother is still just a baby now. He can’t do anything but eat, drink, and sleep. Naturally, he needs more care, so We will spend more time with him for the time being.\” \”No matter how old you get, you will always be your parents\’ darling, but we love in different ways at each age. Think about it, if your dad still spends all day Isn\’t it weird to hold you in my arms and kiss and love you?\” After hearing this, Dabao finally smiled and said disdainfully: \”I\’ve grown up, so I don\’t want it!\” Later, when he met someone else saying something like this After hearing the joke, he became much calmer and no longer easily turned red in the face. For a child who was originally an only child, who was loved by many people before, but now suddenly has a younger brother and sister, it is inevitable that he will worry about his parents \”transferring affection\”. However, some adults like to play pranks and make up some heart-wrenching words to amuse their children. Seeing Dabao, who seems to understand but does not understand, get angry and sad, they find it very interesting and have a sense of accomplishment. As everyone knows, such jokes are not funny at all. They will only make children feel scared and angry, and can easily lead to a lack of security in children. In severe cases, children may even express their inner uneasiness by attacking others or hurting themselves. There are a lot of people who are just worried about the world being in chaos. My best friend, who also has two children, also told me that we have experienced many similar scenes together. One time, she was taking her children to play in a nearby park. She met an aunt she knew and said to her, \”Your little baby\’s eyes are so big! She\’s more beautiful than her sister!\” Her best friend was shocked when she heard this. She didn\’t expect this. An aunt would say this suddenly. Looking back, luckily Dabao had already run away on his bicycle. Aesthetics is a very subjective thing. Person A thinks someone is extremely beautiful, but Person B does not think so. What\’s more, appearance is innate and does not change due to people\’s subjective will. It is an important issue for everyone to be able to like and accept themselves as they are from the bottom of their hearts without looking for trouble. However, my best friend couldn\’t say these words at once, so she had to say half seriously and half jokingly: \”Auntie, don\’t let my sister hear this, she will be unhappy.\” Unexpectedly, this aunt suddenly got excited and shouted at Dabao who was not far away: \”Yueyue, your sister is much prettier than you!\” When the sister heard someone calling him, she thought something was important. , so she came over on her bicycle, but she was greeted by such a sudden sentence, and she slipped away again a little bit resentfully. This aunt is so good at slapping her bestie in the face. She stood thereNext to him, there was a confused look on his face, blaming his talkativeness for arousing people\’s curiosity. Each of us has faced peer pressure when we were growing up. We have lived in the shadow of \”other people\’s children\” since we were young, and we know how it feels to be compared to others. And being compared with one\’s own brothers and sisters, and having a love-hate relationship is much more complicated. People who gossip often have no intention of talking, and the next second they gossip about other things. However, people who live in the shadow of \”comparison\” have been suffering for a long time, miserable, and sometimes even lead to tragedies. The arrival of Xiaobao has brought a lot of pressure to Dabao invisibly: he is worried that Xiaobao will take away his parents\’ love, and he is worried that Xiaobao is more beautiful or better than him. There is also a worry that even if they are not aware of it at a young age, others have already thought of it for them. One day we were taking our two babies for a walk outside, and we met several neighbors who were sitting around enjoying the cool air. They saw that the baby was pink and cute, and they were vying to hold them. One of them, while holding Xiaobao in his arms and preparing to leave, said to Dabao: \”We are going to take your brother away! So that he will not steal things from you in the future.\” Dabao took it seriously again this time and said anxiously: \”Don\’t rob my brother!\” The onlookers became excited when they saw the expected show. Some laughed, and some said: \”It\’s better to rob my brother, otherwise in the future I\’m always fighting with you!\” After leaving that noisy scene, we first affirmed Dabao\’s behavior just now: \”This elder brother is very cool, and he knows how to protect his younger brother.\” I also want to continue talking about what they just said topic, not wanting Dabao to become hostile to his younger brother. So he smiled and said to Dabao: \”They are really contradictory, aren\’t they? Since Xiaobao can snatch things away, they shouldn\’t be able to hide. Why should they take Xiaobao home?\” Hearing this, he also laughed out loud, \”Yeah, aren\’t you afraid of robbing everything from their house? So, they are just envious that I have such a cute brother!\” Someone once said to Dabao, \”My brother will follow you when he grows up.\” We had already discussed this topic with him when he was trying to steal family property. First of all, before they grow up, they don’t have to worry too much about food, clothing, housing, transportation, education and entertainment. These are issues that we as parents should pay attention to and solve. The two brothers are responsible for loving each other and growing up healthily and happily. In addition, no matter how much their parents\’ things are, they are all hard-earned by their parents and have little to do with them; when they grow up, they should not expect their parents and rely on their own abilities to make money, and their abilities are their own and no one can take them away. Walk. Of course, we also promised him that we would treat the two brothers fairly and impartially without favoritism or favoritism. Blood is thicker than water, brothers are like brothers. Unfortunately, some families have staged the tragedy of \”we are born from the same roots, so why rush to fight each other\”. The reasons for this situation are very complicated, but a large part of them stems from the words of others or parents when they were young. Joke. The importance of mental health to children\’s growth has been ignored by us for many years. Fortunately, it has received more and more attention in recent years. Whenever Dabao becomes depressed because of other people\’s unintentional remarks, we need to spend a long time to enlighten and comfort him – the person who made the joke has already laughed it off, which has caused great harm to the child.The impact is far-reaching, and we as parents cannot turn a blind eye. Although it was laborious and time-consuming, I was still secretly glad that it was discovered in time, but I was also worried about: What impact will the undiscovered parts under the iceberg have on the growth of the children? Some people just like to use children for entertainment. Not only families with two children, they can \”create topics\” for any child who is not sensible, and they think they are smart. In front of adults who seem to be \”authoritative, powerful, omniscient, and omnipotent\”, children usually have no room to defend themselves. While the children were laughing at their anxiety, sadness and confusion, they never thought that in the adult world, unbridled and inappropriate words are an annoying and low-EQ behavior. Do unto others, do not impose on others. Adults can\’t completely ignore other people\’s opinions and don\’t like to be teased for no reason, let alone a little child! The younger the children, the more they need to be treated gently, because they cannot distinguish between good and evil, truth and lies. Their psychological endurance and self-healing ability are not strong enough, and they are more vulnerable to harm. Even though children are young, they still need to be respected by adults and cannot be teased or teased wantonly. A true sense of humor is used to lighten the atmosphere and make people feel happy, rather than basing their own happiness on the pain of others. The world of children is sincere, clean, pure and fragile. Every word and deed of adults may affect their future. Adults should be the people from whom children learn to imitate, receive guidance and help, and should not become a big trouble in their little world. Churchill once said: Joking is a serious matter. When dealing with immature children, you should be careful when joking and not do whatever you want. As the saying goes, a kind word warms you for three winters, but a bad word hurts you for six months. In this way, children will have fewer growing pains and can better perceive the warmth, kindness and beauty of the world.