Dahui is one of the few fathers who chats with me. He is willing to talk to me because my Dabao, like his daughter, is in the rebellious period of youth, and he feels that I can understand his troubles. He described his family life as \”a mess\”: his wife and children have great conflicts. \”Basically, they yell every day, a small quarrel every three days, and a big quarrel every five days…\” Dahui and his wife are late-brothers. He is a model. He is 51 years old, his wife is 49 years old, and their only daughter is 14 years old. They were lucky enough to have a child after many years of marriage and the ups and downs of seeking a child. My daughter has become the darling of the whole family since she was born. Fortunately, she is very up to date, performs well in all aspects of study and life, and has a good personality. She is in the first grade of junior high school this year. Starting from the year before last, Dahui found that the usually obedient child gradually became talkative and angry. This situation has become even more serious this year. I have to talk back at everything and lose my temper if things don\’t go my way. He knew that his child was gradually entering the rebellious period of youth, so he communicated with his wife and asked him to pay more attention to his child\’s emotions and her mental health. The couple began to understand the rebellious period of youth and read related articles. They began to adjust their mentality, slowly let go of their children, and gave them more choices and decisions. Therefore, although the child sometimes \”shoots like a firecracker\”, the couple copes well. However, from the second half of last year, when the child started to enter the first grade of junior high school, Dahui discovered that his wife\’s temper was getting worse and worse. She was often irritable, anxious, easily agitated, and often had fierce conflicts with the child, which caused a lot of chaos in the house. . Dahui estimated that his wife had reached menopause. After Baidu, she found out that her symptoms were relatively obvious. One night before New Year\’s Day, my wife checked her daughter\’s math homework and found that 5 of the 8 multiple-choice questions were wrong. The child\’s math scores are good and this shouldn\’t happen. My wife pointed out the wrong questions and asked the children to correct them, and they all turned out to be correct. This shows that they were written blindly before. The wife suddenly became angry. She began to criticize the child loudly for being irresponsible to her, and asked the child what he had just done in the room. While searching the drawers of the child\’s desk and bedside table, she unexpectedly found an open extracurricular book. When I looked at the title of the book, I saw it was a youth literary novel from the Little Miss Yilin series. Reading this kind of books has become very popular in her child\’s class recently. She secretly used her pocket money to buy them and even exchanged them with her classmates. She had been criticized by her mother before, who thought it was fast-food literature and she could just read a few books and it was not worth reading in large quantities. This is good, the child not only continues to read this kind of book, but also takes up the time to do homework to read it secretly, while doing the homework to cope with it! The child\’s mother threw the book to the floor in anger and scolded the child loudly. When Dahui heard the sound and rushed over, he saw the child\’s red eyes staring fiercely at his mother. The mother was shaking with anger and scolded loudly: \”How many times have I told you not to read this kind of book? You\’d better do your homework.\” You don’t even have to write anymore, just read it secretly, right? Huh? The final exam is coming soon, what do you want?…\” He walked over and told his wife to forget it and let the children write quickly now. Unexpectedly, his wife became more and more excited as she scolded her. She suddenly picked up the book on the ground and tore it in half with a \”swish\” sound. This completely pissed off the child, because this book was written by her to her peers.Learned something borrowed. She raised her hand and swept the textbooks and pencil case on the desk to the ground. She grabbed the math paper just now, followed her mother\’s example, tore it into four parts and threw them to the ground. It was already a mess, but the child\’s mother didn\’t give up. Regardless of Dahui\’s obstruction, she rushed up and shouted: \”You are awesome! You tear up the paper! You won\’t go to school tomorrow, right? If you don\’t go, just don\’t go…\” Dahui was helpless. , I had to take my wife away first, and then turned around and told my children not to be angry and to pack their things. He pulled his wife back to the master bedroom and told her not to be angry. His daughter looked quite tall, but she was actually still a child! He wanted to comfort his wife with a few words first, and then take care of the child. After all, the child was at fault in this matter, so he had to neglect her first. Dahui persuaded his wife for a while, and just as her mood gradually calmed down, he heard a \”bang\”, which was the sound of the door being closed at home. He came out of the bedroom and found nothing unusual, so he walked to his daughter\’s room, only to find that the child was not in the bedroom. The textbooks, pencil cases and stationery scattered on the floor were not cleared away, and there were still a few clothes thrown on the bed… Dahui said that he was stunned for a few seconds before he realized that the sound was the child closing the door just now, she went out, she, runaway? ! Dahui instantly became nervous and ran back to the bedroom to tell his wife to wait at home. He didn\’t even have time to change into his pajamas at home, so he picked up his coat and hurriedly opened the door and chased out. He was extremely anxious. The child had been out for several minutes. He didn\’t know which direction she was going. It was so cold outside and he didn\’t know if she was wearing a coat… As soon as the elevator door opened, Dahui rushed out and started calling his daughter\’s name loudly. It was about 9 o\’clock in the evening and it was very cold outside. He ran to the left first, searching and calling all the time. After searching for a while, he couldn\’t find it, so he went back to the right to look. As time passed by, Dahui became more and more anxious. He didn\’t know if he was looking in the right direction or where the child had gone. More than twenty minutes later, Dahui found the child on a bench in the community. She was sitting there in a daze, with a bag beside her (the bag contained several pieces of clothing, her favorite stuffed toy, and the This book was torn by my mother). She was actually not far from Dahui, but trees and bamboo bushes blocked his view. She must have heard Dahui calling her, but she didn\’t say a word. The moment Dahui found the child, he felt that he was almost exhausted and fell to his knees. Although it took less than half an hour, he was sweating all over in the winter, and when he wasn\’t looking for it, all kinds of scary scenes appeared in his mind. He sat next to his daughter and opened his mouth several times without knowing what to say. The child is as tall as her mother and is no longer old enough to hold her. And she understands all the truths, and there is no need to explain them again. Finally Dahui took the child\’s arm and went home. In the past six months, mother and daughter have often quarreled, and even fought a few times, but this was the first time they \”ran away from home.\” A few days later, Dahui still felt scared. He was not sure if there would be a next time, and where the child would go at that time. What if…he did not dare to think about it. It\’s not that his wife doesn\’t love her children, or that the relationship between mother and daughter is not good. They are very harmonious when they are good, and they unite to bully and despise Dahui. But even in the most harmonious times, DahuiHe couldn\’t completely relax. He was always worried that the two of them would suddenly fall out over a disagreement. This happened more than once. \”Both of them are like gunpowder that can be ignited at any time. Both are emotionally unstable. One loses his temper and the other loses his temper quickly, and then it gets out of hand.\” We all know that accompanying and educating children in the rebellious period is the most troublesome. They have little self-control but great destructive power. We also know that menopausal syndrome is very scary for women. What happens when you have a menopausal mother and a rebellious baby at home? Dahui and I chatted for a long time and talked about the many conflicts that occurred in life. For example, his wife often suffered from insomnia and was very suspicious, which made him very nervous. The child is in junior high school, which is a critical period, which puts him under a lot of pressure. I listened (read his written words) all the time and rarely spoke. Dahui is a father who likes to delve into research and knows a lot of theoretical knowledge. He does not need suggestions or opinions, just a strange audience who can understand his situation. Menopause generally occurs in women between the ages of 45 and 55. The main psychological symptoms include irritability, irritability, insomnia, headaches, inattention, talkativeness, crying loudly, etc. (excited type); irritability, anxiety, inner Uneasiness, even panic and fear, memory loss, lack of self-confidence, slow movement, severe cases of indifference to the outside world, loss of emotional response, and even the development of severe depressive neurosis (depressive type). The rebellious period of adolescence usually occurs between the ages of 12 and 18. Around the age of 14 is the peak age for rebellious behavior, which is mainly manifested in fierce confrontations with family and teachers. Most children in the rebellious period do not care about the consequences of their actions and do some very extreme things. In serious cases, they may even wander, beg, gamble, engage in illegal and criminal activities, etc. It turns out that it makes sense for God to allow women to become fertile in their teens and twenties and not enter menopause until around 50, in order to allow the mother\’s menopause to stagger the child\’s youthful rebellious period. If we have children in our twenties, by the time we reach menopause, the children will have grown up. However, in modern society, study and work are under great pressure, and the ages for courtship, marriage, and childbirth are delayed again and again. Many people do not become parents until they are in their late 30s. If the middle process is slightly unsatisfactory and a few years later, or if a second child is born, menopause and adolescent rebelliousness will inevitably meet. I imagined Xiao Xi’s appearance when she was angry and stubborn, and then imagined my own emotions on those days of the month, or my usual state of exhaustion due to lack of sleep. What if these become the norm in life and last for several years? I just can\’t imagine it. Xiao Nuo is now 5 years old. In 8-10 years, she will reach the period of youth rebellion. By then, I will be menopausal… Suddenly I deeply sympathize with Nuo Xi\’s father. Writing the story of Dahui is not to advise everyone not to have children late. Time is irreversible. We are already in our thirties. Even if we predict that the rebellious period during menopause will be painful, it will not make us regain our youth and choose to have babies earlier. I just want to remind everyone to pay attention to this issue, know more about the rebellious period of youth and menopause, be more prepared mentally and physically, pay attention to adjusting your mentality, and learn to control your emotions. in the process of raising children, focusing on cultivating children’s emotional intelligence. I hope that when we reach that stage in the future, there will be less parent-child conflicts and more happy times.