The sooner a child becomes sensible, the more pitiful he is! Parents should take a look

Youyou has a cousin, Keer. She is in the first month, and Youyou is in April, but I always feel that she is much older than our Xiaoyou, and has a \”maturity\” that children of this age should not have… Every time the child sees an adult, he will take the initiative to say hello: Hello, uncle, Hello aunt… she usually cares about her teachers and her mother… Just like her name, she is very sweet, like a little adult. From an adult\’s perspective, such children do appear to be well-behaved and lovable. Until one day, something happened that completely changed my view of this child… I really want to tell my mother: Mom, actually I want it too, but… It was a weekend, my sister-in-law and I were taking our two children. Go shopping together. There was an imported toy counter in the mall. Youyou\’s little eyes were very sharp and she spotted a doll at a glance. Ke\’er was also standing next to her, her eyes full of joy and expectation… When I looked at the price, it was more than 200 for a doll. That\’s it, it\’s a bit expensive: Baby, mommy bought you a lot of dolls… Before I could finish speaking, Youyou started acting coquettishly: Mommy, this one is different, I really like it! I promise this is the last time and I will never buy a doll again… Well, I can\’t resist her, even though I know she will say the same thing every time. Looking at Ke\’er again, she just looked at her mother timidly, wanting to say something, but in the end she didn\’t say it… \”Then buy two and treat them as gifts from auntie to Ke\’er, okay?\” I smiled. explain. Ke\’er still looked into her mother\’s eyes: Auntie, I don\’t want them. There are a lot of toys at home… Looking at the child\’s insincere expression, I wanted to say something, but I didn\’t know how to say it. Finally, I said: Okay, from now on you can When I want to play, I come to my aunt’s house. On the way back, I paid close attention to Ke\’er. From time to time, she secretly looked at the doll in Youyou\’s hand, her eyes full of envy and loss. Along the way, she lowered her head and didn\’t say a word. It made me feel sad… …This child has seriously lost herself. She shows \”sensibleness\” that is inconsistent with her age. Behind it is actually a distortion of herself. It is the result of this child being disrespected for a long time, her psychological boundaries being violated for a long time, and her personal will being trampled on for a long time… …On the other hand, Youyou was in high spirits along the way, just like a little chatterbox…just what we often say: A child who cries gets milk! When I have a child, I must not let him become sensible so early. Seeing Ke\’er, Youma suddenly remembered a conversation with a friend: When I have a child, I must not let him become sensible so early! When I asked him why, he told me a story about his childhood. When he was a child, he was such a sensible child: he had younger brothers and sisters. As long as he could remember, his mother told him: You are the boss, you have to take the lead, and you have to take the lead in everything. Holding younger brothers and sisters. My mother said this sentence countless times, and it has been deeply imprinted in his heart.Once, he took a fancy to a small Walkman and secretly saved his pocket money and New Year\’s money for a long time. He originally planned to buy it directly, but finally decided to discuss it with his mother. As a result, his mother confiscated his New Year\’s money: You must be a good brother and set a good example for your younger brothers and sisters. Do you think, what would your younger siblings do if you bought it? Good boy, mother will keep this money for you first. His mother kept it for him until now… However, his mother never knew that that night, he wet the pillow with tears… He said: At that moment, I even hated myself for being so sensible. . In his heart, he always felt that maybe he never had a childhood at all! That\’s why I came up with this sentence: When I have a child, I must not let him become sensible too early… Behind the premature sensibleness is the fact that children love to play by nature. But some children act like little adults early on. When others are playing, they choose to stay at home and keep their clothes neat and tidy… If a child is supposed to be carefree and carelessly playing, He showed too much of the above-mentioned \”sensible\” behavior. The child\’s \”sensible\” is just \”suppressing himself, hiding his true needs, and catering to his parents and others.\” From this perspective, this is not sensible, but fear. What are you afraid of? I\’m afraid that I won\’t be loved if I don\’t please my parents, I\’m afraid that I\’ll be abandoned if I do or say something wrong, I\’m afraid that my slightest willful behavior will destroy my remaining sense of security. In other words, to put it cruelly, choosing to be \”sensible\” is a child\’s biological instinct. When the consequences of \”being himself\” are very dangerous, he must choose to suppress himself in order to survive. Many sensible and good children grew up like this. Only by meeting their parents\’ requirements and growing up to be what their parents expect can they gain more attention and care from their parents, in exchange for more praise and praise.