You have so many \”problems\”, why do your children still love you so much?

A long time ago, I wanted to write an article and talk about what real parents are like. Well, look at yourself, each of us is real. When I came into contact with a lot of parents. I found that everyone realizes one thing – we are not perfect parents. But they all make the same mistake – requiring children to be perfect. This is a contradiction. But many times, they choose to ignore this contradiction, and in the process of striving for perfection, they hurt their children and themselves. Are you an excellent mother or a poor mother? The real answer often lies in the child\’s mind. Many times, mothers come to talk with a bunch of questions. In fact, many of them are not problems, but just normal behavior in the growth process of children. What parents often lack is self-reflection and focus too much on their children. Anxiety has become the norm for mothers. So many people say that most of our current Chinese family relationships are: absent father + anxious mother + collapsed children, plus a fierce mother-in-law. Of course there are many such families, so many people think this is indeed the case. But I always hope that fathers can return to their duties, become mothers with a relaxed and peaceful mood, and raise a healthy and happy child together. What we have to do is never complain, but keep working hard to build. Many people dare not become parents because they are afraid of growing up. So I was terrified when I saw a baby in my arms. I knew nothing about this little life and was at a loss. At the beginning, if no one helps the new mother, the stress of being a new mother, the physical fatigue, and the lack of emotional relief can easily make the mother become a depressed mother. No one can raise children easily. Looking back, every step is a bitter history. I remember that my son got hand, foot and mouth disease once when he was more than two years old. At that time, we all thought it was a cold. Later I thought it was thrush, but luckily a good neighbor suggested we go to a major hospital to get it checked out. The result was very serious. The doctor looked solemn at the time and said to me, \”Go to the Provincial Children\’s Hospital immediately and ask if we can arrange an ambulance for you.\” At that time, my mother and I were almost frightened when we heard the word \”ambulance\”. Because the mother and child were close to the Provincial Children\’s Hospital, they quickly took the baby and ran away. Along the way, I looked at my son who was still joking with us, and I deeply blamed myself for my mistakes. If it were still two days late, the consequences would be disastrous. Later, we stipulated that children should not eat with their hands when playing outside. If they must eat, they must wash their hands first. When I see some elderly people playing with their children in the playground, and the tired children come over and hand them candies, and the children eat them as soon as they grab them, I will kindly remind the elderly people to wash their children\’s hands first. If a child catches a cold, his mouth will also be observed. It is from these mistakes that we stumble and grow. The purpose is to better protect the little life in front of me. Another mother said that she regretted very much that she did not have the concept of parent-child reading before her child was 3 years old. She always felt that her child\’s reading was a matter for kindergarten, and she only had to take care of her child\’s eating and drinking. Some mothers even use the words \”happy childhood\” to reject early reading, but the happiness that picture books bring to their children is also the result of sand.It\’s incomparable. As a result, children miss the best stage of reading enlightenment. In addition, the reading habit was not developed in the children in the later period, but the children got into the habit of playing games online. Nowadays, Internet cafes dare not accept minors, and mobile games have become children\’s favorite. If you could live your life over again, you ask a mother how she would raise her children. I think many parents will write several notebooks. Many people will write in the first few articles that they must start parent-child reading with their children as early as possible. Raising a child who loves to read will let his life be filled with the fragrance of books. Who says parents are omnipotent? After having a child, I discovered that I had so many problems that I seemed to be losing count. But despite this, you still have to work hard to be a good parent. If you are sincere, your children will feel your sincerity. If you are great, your children will feel it even if you don’t say it. And if you live a sloppy life yourself, don\’t blame your children for not living up to expectations. In the film \”Flags of Our Fathers\”, an old father who was once a Marine Corps doctor bid farewell to his son on his deathbed. With tears in his eyes, he said to his son on the bedside: \”I\’m really sorry, I didn\’t do a good enough job as a father.\” \”You are the best father in the world.\” The son\’s words came from the heart, because his father also sacrificed himself for others on the battlefield. He is recognized as a good person. He is also responsible for his family. Although I was traumatized by the war after returning from the battlefield, I did not communicate with the children frequently. But in his son\’s eyes, he is still the best father in the world. Finally, he left peacefully with his son\’s beautiful love. As long as the child feels love, even if you are not perfect, the child will still love you very much. Especially when your children grow up, they will feel your difficulty and the love revealed in the helplessness. I feel your love again after many years. I remember when I was little, my mother came home to see me only a few times a year. I welcomed my mother back with joy. But a few days later it was as if the dream was shattered and I sent her away crying. There is a small hatred in my heart that has not gone away for many years. Now, I am a father myself. It is very difficult to review my mother\’s experience back then. In that era when there was no high-speed rail and you couldn\’t afford to fly. She came back after a long journey. After passing through those small counties and towns where even a car is difficult to find, I came to me. The separation also made her herself often wet her pillow with tears. Sincere love now makes me understand and warm. So, facing our children. Less anxiety, more peace, get to know your true self, embrace your imperfect self, and accept your imperfect children. Let your children feel your love instead of stormy emotional catharsis and shackles of control. Children need free air and the restraint of rules. And we are growing up with our children between controlling and letting go. Let go of the so-called parental attitude, accept your own shortcomings, and be a child with the same shortcomings as your children. We have one more superpower than children – that is, to examine our own problems and actively solve them. \”For a family, parents are the roots and children are the flowers. Parents often \”see\” their children\’s problems, but they don\’t know that these are actually their own problems \”flowering\” in their children. You have so many \”problems\”,Why do children still love you so much? That\’s because you\’re always trying to get better. The so-called problems are often washed away in the long river of time and repaired in the process of spending time with children. If you are really like a piece of mud that can\’t hold on to the wall, one day you will hate yourself. Don\’t force your little children to say they love you. Try to be a good parent worthy of your children’s love for your whole life!